Product Description
Don Corleone said it best-but these days, it's harder than ever to know how to act like a real man. Now, renowned actor and true-life man's man Frank Vincent--famed for his unforgettable tough-guy roles in such classic films as Raging Bull, Goodfellas, and HBO's The Sopranos--shows how any man can be all that he can be in love, work, play, and life, including:

-Getting the best women by being the best man
- Dressing like a champ
- Winning big money and big respect in Las Vegas
- Choosing the right song to set the right mood
- Knowing how to eat-and cook-like a man
- Movies that men will always love
- Selecting, smoking, and savoring a great cigar

Remember: if you want to learn how to be a man's man, you gotta learn from a man's man. And that man is Frank Vincent ... Read more

Customer Reviews (33)

A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man
A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man was a very good read. Frank Vincent has a very interesting take on life. The book has some good tip regarding cigars, wine and other tidbits that most guys like myself overlook. It is also good to read a book written by an actor/celebrity that contains no discussion of any type of politics or political beliefs. I wish I had an autographed copy of the book.


CharliePont

Laugh out loud funny
I was reading this at the gym and I laughed so hard the woman next to me had to ask what I was reading. This is absolutely one of the funniest books ever. To paraphrase: "When you go to the gym wear the kind of pants with the stripe down the side and not sweat pants. Sweat pants are for taking out the garbage at 4 in the morning when you have a hangover."

Anyone who has to read a book to figure out how to be a man's man is a douche, but this book was great validation of things I already believed and a big slap in the face to the Southern redneck's idea of what it is to be a man.

Suave
This is guy is one of those actors who carry's himself so well on screen, you're convinced that all those characters are him.
This book reveals another side of Mr. Vincent. With that, in a world where real men are missing and absent fathers who don't show there sons how to shave or shine their shoes, This book kicks it up a notch. I'm glad he took the time to write this book.

This book is more than what I expected. The book I ordered is a paperback that has a classic hardcover 'soul'.

Dreadful
I'm not sure I've had the misfortune to read a more dreadful book.How to shave...how to smoke a cigar...what was the author thinking?An obvious effort to cash in on the Soprano's popularity.I'm going to guess that Frank Vincent is an engaging, talented, interesting individual with some terrific personal experiences.Unfortunately very little of Mr. Vincent's personality comes through in his book (at least I HOPE this is not the sum total of his personality).If you can't overcome your curiosity, buy this one used.

frank vincent
great seller got the item within 2 weeks delivered to australia didnt expect it so soon as amazon usually is a month so great job guys happy with product ... Read more

Customer Reviews (11)

JAMES HOLLIS : UNDER SATURN'S SHADOW
I cannot recommend James Hollis' work highly enough. The guy knows what he's talking about and can explain it in a very easy to understand style. In fact, I recommend any of James Hollis' work as they all seem to be of such equally high quality. Even though this book is about the wounding and healing of men, it should be obligatory reading for women too. It's more than just another self help potboiler. This is excellent content, easily explained and leaves you with a feeling that someone understands you, that you are not alone with your existential problems. There are always literary and poetic references in James Hollis' work, so the quality of the writing has an extra magical touch. You don't need to appreciate poetry or literature to buy this book, but if you actually like reading, this component is a real extra. On the strength of the quality of the writing, of the simplicity of the style I have bought many of Hollis' books and I thoroughly recommend them all. I do wish more men would read about themselves though and if you (men that is!!) haven't wanted to do so up to now, well here is a perfect introduction. I found myself nodding vigourously, making notes, underlining huge quantities because the writing and the content just hit you straight in the intelligence of the heart, there where it must be to change your view of yourself and those around you. Go out and buy the book. You really won't regret it.
Jackie LION (P.S. I'm a woman)

Required reading for men and the women who love men
I read this book many years ago and remember buying 10 copies to give away. I ended up not even having a copy myself so decided to buy it again. I started reading and could not put it down. The book explains what men experience, their pain and their wounds that women will appreciate understanding. Men will feel seen and heard by reading this book themselves. I recommend it highly.

best present ever
I gave this book to my boyfriend.
He said it was one of the best books he has ever read.
It made him feel so much more understood and "normal" in this society.
He thought before, that he was kind of alone with his type of problems- but NO - EVERY MAN and women, too, in their own ways, have to deal with them.
This book is a tribute to humanity and brotherhood in our psycologically tough times!

Truly insightful
This is an excellent book. Deep, insightful, authentic and helpful to all those who want to understand themselves better. Even though it is an analysis of societal and psychological issues that men have to face and struggle with, I believe that women will also find this book very useful.

Painful but necessary reading
I am total James Hollis fan. I have now read four of his books and have found them liberating. Visit his website for a clue for why he is so effective - he is not 30 years of age with limited life experience. He commenced his training only after he completed another successful career in academia. Most would have been content to have lived the life he already had. He has the life skills and experience to help us all illuminate our lives.

The book concerns the burden of being a man, exposing some of the constricting myths that have made manhood so painful. It is a book about men but not necessarily only for men - my wife read it too and found it very moving. It is enriched by the signficant store of Hollis reading in poetry and literature. It is notan easy fix and like anything worthwhile requires your concentratedattention. Further, it is only a beginning rather than an end. Hollis says it himself when he quotes somewhere Jung's description of the psychoanalytical endeavour - it can provide insight but then there must come endurance and courage. You can have a vision of what you would like to be but then comes the fidelity to make that vision a reality.

I would recommend this book highly.

Rob ... Read more

Product Description
"An exciting and inspiring book for any man who wishes to understand himself better--and for any woman who wishes to understand men."
NATHANIEL BRANDEN, Ph.D.
Author of THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE
Nationally known therapist Marvin Allen explores the root causes of men's emotional problems and offers a comprehensive solution to restore their sense of joy and well-being: men working together in therapy groups. Drawing on the life stories of scores of men as well as the author's own personal experience, this landmark book dramatizes the groundbreaking techniques that men can use not simply to discuss their buried emotions but to release them in the healing company of other men. It provides a powerful catalyst for changing men's lives.
... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Angry men - listen up up!
I foundmyself agreeing with this author all the time. He describes the background of why men seem to be unable to connect with their wives, children, parents on an emotional level and, more importantly, what to do about it. My only complaint is that he does not really tell us men what concrete steps to take next. On the positive side, there are numerous examples of behavior and conversations that were symptomatic of how men dig their own emotional graves. I can only recommend that men, and especially also women, read this book to understand men better.

A must read for men and women
Marvin Allen's straightforward, easy-to-read style of writing makes this book a must for anyone who wants to understand why men think and act the way they do, and how they differ from women emotionally.Many clients' stories and first-hand accounts help illustrate the points the author makes.The appendix offers additional resources for further study/help. As a quote on the front cover states, this is especially "a perfect book to give to a man who is suspicious of therapy and therapists" as well as a must-read for the women they love.

Where's the Man's Anger??
The book was good at describing how a man may have obtained his anger and was insightful.It did lack the father who was hostile in a psychological manner through manipulation, subtle verbal abuse, and unfair treatment in comparison to other siblings.There was a mention of obvious verbal abusive but nothing on subtle abuse.What about the man who wasn't physically abused or told outright that he was a loser??Also, the chapters on love relationships were geared toward the passive angry man and did not take into account the angry man who uses things like verbal abuse and control against his spouse.Men who are angry are often abusive themselves.The controlling man already has control over his "dominion" and the wife does not get to pick the "furniture", etc....To an angry verbally abusive man telling him that he should have his way at home when he already has control issues will only make things worse.It is good to address the passive man who never speaks up but there was a lack of attention to the angry man who will only allow his way.Lets not go to extremes in either the Men's movement or Women's movement.Each individual is valuable.The book does not talk about how to create mutuality and work as a partner or team (compromise in decision making).It merely talks about men taking control.This book may be good for the passive man who is angry but may further enhance characteristics of the man who is the "nice" guy to everyone outside his intimate relationship and a controlling verbally abusive guy to his spouse.The book would be much better if it had addressed the issues of a mutual relationship and the extreme of being vebally abusive versus speaking up.Speaking up for oneself does not mean disregarding your partners feelings or desires.A relationship should involve both parties making decisions and compromising when there is a difference of opinion.

My dear sir, everything I do is masculine! . . .
Angry Men, Passive Men - understanding the roots of men's anger and how to move beyond it. This excellent volume is replete with personal stories, examples from real life men's support groups, and knowledgeable advice from a practicing therapist. It was, apparently, first published as "In the Company of Men."

Mr. Allen presents material here that may not at first seem new to anyone reading in men's studies these days. But the added value is in the second half of the book where, after convincing us that there are serious reasons to consider why men suppress their feelings, he gives us some ideas of how to break through the barriers. He explains how we will be able to open up to a full range of feelings if we simply stop accepting "the rules written on The Man Box" we're in.

Just as the women's movement has begun to dismantle the systemic reasons for being put in "the Woman Box," men are encouraged to review how and why we are so well indoctrinated by society to fill the stereotype of "man." We have to start at home and in the society at large to correct limiting views while saving the good aspects of being male. "What men need to do," Allen tells us, "is draw some distinctions between beliefs and behaviors they want to keep and ones they want to discard. For example, they may see that being able to hide their feelings in a poker game or in the middle of a business deal works to their advantage; there are times when it's important not to show your hand. But hiding their feelings from their wives and their friends keeps them isolated and alone."

I suppose the best recommendation, or review, of this book I can give you is to mention that I have ordered a dozen copies (from Amazon.com of course!) to give to friends and to use in my own men's group. I recommend this excellent work for any man or woman interested in learning more about the male psychology.

A guide to breaking free of deadly male stereotypes
Marv Allen provides an insightful journey through male psychology. I found the book very helpful. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (3)

Difficult, but worth the effort.
Michael Taussig takes a stance towards "terrorism" not common in today's world. By trying to trace the roots of this phenomenon, he brings to light many explanations and understandings many of us fail to realize, only because we have not come across them before. I give this book four stars instead of five simply because it is a difficult read, but if you are interested in what we, today, call "terrorism" and are willing to take the time to plunge into this book, then it will certainly be worth your while.

Taussig takes one on a terrifying, gut churning, horrifying
trip through the rubber boom of the 1800's in South America.From detailed historical survey to his first hand accounts of life around the Amazon, he never ceases to confront the reader with reality.His study iscomprehensive in that he brings attention to all different aspects of theEuropean, Indian and African people who live there.The study helpsintegrate the anthropological view of society to consider the religious,political, economic and moral as part of the collective consciousness of acommunity.Powerful book.

Much more than a simple ethnographic investigation...
Arguably one of the most accomplished anthropologists working today, Michael Taussig provides an intensely individualistic bricolage of literary, historical, and ethnological interpretations of his many years of fieldwork in the Upper Amazon.One of the most detailed and poignant accounts of shamanism in its cultural context - will very soon be regarded as a classic. ... Read more

Product Description
The New Men's Devotional Bible helps apply God's Word to a new generation of Christian men. Added features from its bestselling predecessor make this Bible more engaging, practical, and versatile than ever. Now available in a handy compact size.Features:* Complete text of the NIV---the most read, most trusted Bible translation* A full year of weekday and weekend devotions along with application statements, questions for reflection, and more* Devotions written by a gifted author team also feature insights by Rob Bell, Chuck Colson, Lee Strobel, Rick Warren, and Ravi Zacharias* Multiple reading plans for year-after-year use* Introductions for each book of the Bible* Over 400 callouts spotlighting key verses of the Bible for memorization and contemplation* Author index with biographical information on each contributor* Subject index to help you locate topics easily* Presentation page* Double-column format ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Wonderful Bible but print is a bit small for older folks...
This Bible is a convenient size. Good devotionals. The print is a bit small for those needing bifocals. Not sure if there is a larger print.
Definite great price. Quick shipping.

just what I wanted
This is exactly what I was looking for. It's small enough that I can bring it along pretty much anywhere while still being quite readable with a decent font size and quality paper.It also doesn't look too shabby which is something not high on my priorities in a bible but something I can appreciate nonetheless.

very pleased
This is a very nice bible, I am delighted with the finish quality of the leather cover and binding, and the devotions are very well put together.

new men's devotional bible
perfect.compact.great study helps. I was looking for a travel Bible & a devotional.just what I was looking for. ... Read more

Product Description
The 1990s will be the decade in which the men's movement emerges as a vital force for redefining masculinity. To Be a Man can serve as the bible for the new male by exploring such issues as suppressed wildness, grief, and shame, as well as perennial topics such as competition, work, fatherhood, and loving relationaships. The audience for this New Consciousnesss reader also includes women who seek to understand their husbands and sons. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

This book provides life changing ideas & information
This book is a compilation of some of the greatest thinkers of the male, his needs, experiences, griefs, wants, desires, myths and shadow fiqures. It will confirm many feelings males often have in common yet we feel separate and different because of these feelings and experiences. This book embraces some of the most important information of our time. It is a must read for the thinking growing deep masculine self. ... Read more

Product Description
If you are a woman who deosn't want to know the truth about the men in you life, then put this book down immediately. Don't even think of reading further. But if you are a woman who believes that knowledge is power, that to be forewarned is to be forearmed, then Smith and Doe are here to give you an unvarnished, no-holds-barred, unadulterated first-time look into the mind of male animal. You will learn about their sexual fanatsies (the real ones), the secrets they keep, and the lies they tell when it comes to sex, love, and fidelity, and what they will and will not do to hole on to the women in their lives. But take heed. As Smith and Doe reveal : "Our sexual fantasies are everything you pray they are not. Our deepest desires are darker than your darkest fears. Our wet dreams are your worst nightmares." This is the book men pray women won't read.
Amazon.com Review
Only 3.6 percent of men will remain faithful to theirwomen. At least according to the controversial "Smith and Doe," twoguys who wish to remain anonymous except for revealing that they workin the motion-picture industry and live in Southern California. Asampling of their "unspoken truths" aimed at turning women into "Smithand Doe-educated women":

--"If a man is given the opportunity toengage in sexual relations with an attractive female, with no fear ofgetting caught and little risk of transmitted diseases, he will doso. Always. Without fail. There are no exceptions."

--"Man spendshis life in one of two basic states: loaded or unloaded."

--"Aprostitute is the perfect one-nighter."

--"Men are attracted tobeautiful young women.... If you saw your man at the office when youare not present, you would become physically ill."

Also includedare detailed guidelines for monitoring your man's financial activities(see third item, above), "surefire methods" for getting your man toconfess to cheating (past or present), and a 75-question fidelity test("Does your man play his answering machine messages in front ofyou?"). They conclude with a "condensed guide to training your man,"a more sexually focused takeoff on the ideas in How to Make Your Man Behavein 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional DogTrainers. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (95)

Ugly but true
Awesome book! reading this book was a lot of fun combined with great education about men and how they think. I highly recommend this book to all women. Even if you think you know it all,this book reveals much more.
For me, this book was an eye opener, I now know what goes on inside men's head and this can be a very powerful tool in all areas of life. I remember standing in a long ticket line and while waiting used the time to read a chapter in the book. A guy standing next to me took a glimpse at the book title and started blushing instantly; he was very embarrassed. At that moment I knew that I was about to enter the forbidden men territory and was not disappointed.
I hope you would enjoy this read as much as I did.

It Made Me Say A-ha!
Is this book crude?Yes it is; but men are sometimes crude, base creatures.

This book opened my eyes to things I didn't know, and confirmed things I'd only suspected.And I laughed my way through the whole book!

An easy to read must-have for all adult women that are involved with men or who are looking.

The ultimate "what guys are really like" book - with a comic twist
After reading dozens of lame books about what men are supposedly like, I stumbled upon this gem.It's brief, it's well-written, and it's brutally funny.When you get past the (obvious and hilarious) satire and exaggerations, these guys offer up both details and the bottom line about men - something that women may never be willing to admit but all secretly fear - that men are different from women in ways that women will find absolutely horrifying.This is a quick read and laugh-out-loud funny.If you've got "He's Just Not That Into You" (a helpful, if milder, literary splash of cold water to the face) pick up this book - and voila! - your "what's up with him?" library is complete.

Very revealing!!!!!
I am a woman and I totally agree with what the authors have said. I don't think it applies to all men, but at least 98.9% of them. I have dated many men with these characteristics. I have many male friends and they have confirmed many of these facts stated in this book.This is a must read for any woman in a relationship with a man.

Every Woman Should Have This Book
A lot of the things mentioned in this book didn't surprise me, what did surprise me was how common it was.

Most men and I say MOST, not ALL would cheat if they could. It's inherent in their nature.

This is not a man bashing book. It's two men telling how things REALLY are. You can stick your head in the sand and pretend men don't think differently but you'd be doing yourself a disservice.

This book has given me some great tools in my next relationship to see things as they really are.

... Read more

Product Description
Farrell has conducted role-playing workshops with thousands of men and women for more than 20 years. His ground-breaking research is the basis for the book, which most experts agree may be one of the most extraordinary, eye-opening books of our time. HC: McGraw-Hill. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (30)

Why men are the way they are
Whyt didnt i read this in 1980's.Such a good book for the Warrior or the SNAG or even Left wing Femos.Awesome

A very important book
This is one of the best books I've ever read. EVER! This should be mandatory reading for every person of both sexes age 16+.

very well written book
a well researched book
it studies the change in female mindset over last few decades and presents it in a very credible fashion (with good references/ surveys/ questionnaires etc.)
does try to explore the way the men think and feel about the changing mindset of women and their failure to 'figure out' the contradictions in female thinking.
very interesting read.
i recommend it.
SG

Eye Opener!
Wow...had lots of "ah-hah" moments with this book.It kind of takes one "outside of the box" with male and female roles.Amazingly (and sometimes embarrassingly) true!!!!

Great
This refers to the audio version, but who cares?

This is simply a stunning piece, and, in the words of Ken Wilber, one wonders why this stuff is not mainstream.

Really, it should be bog standard material, instead of the feminist dross that we get fed at school (not that I'm against it for the most part but it's extremely partial).

Moreover, Farrell discusses the themes in a very mature manner. He doesn't get angry at women and the focus is on what one can DO to get out of the morass we have gotten ourselves into.

Highly recommendable and a truly worthwhile read. ... Read more

Product Description

Adam Sandler movies, HBO'sEntourage, and such magazines asMaxim andFHM all trade in and appeal to one character& mdash;the modern boy-man. Addicted to video games, comic books, extreme sports, and dressing down, the boy-man would rather devote an afternoon to Grand Theft Auto than plan his next career move. He would rather prolong the hedonistic pleasures of youth than embrace the self-sacrificing demands of adulthood.

When did maturity become the ultimate taboo? Men have gone from idolizing Cary Grant to aping Hugh Grant, shunning marriage and responsibility well into their twenties and thirties. Gary Cross, renowned cultural historian, identifies the boy-man and his habits, examining the attitudes and practices of three generations to make sense of this gradual but profound shift in American masculinity. Cross matches the rise of the American boy-man to trends in twentieth-century advertising, popular culture, and consumerism, and he locates the roots of our present crisis in the vague call for a new model of leadership that, ultimately, failed to offer a better concept of maturity.

Cross does not blame the young or glorify the past. He finds that men of the "Greatest Generation" might have embraced their role as providers but were confused by the contradictions and expectations of modern fatherhood. Their uncertainty gave birth to the Beats and men who indulged in childhood hobbies and boyish sports. Rather than fashion a new manhood, baby-boomers held onto their youth and, when that was gone, embraced Viagra. Without mature role models to emulate or rebel against, Generation X turned to cynicism and sensual intensity, and the media fed on this longing, transforming a life stage into a highly desirable lifestyle. Arguing that contemporary American culture undermines both conservative ideals of male maturity and the liberal values of community and responsibility, Cross concludes with a proposal for a modern marriage of personal desire and ethical adulthood., reviewing a previous edition or volume

Customer Reviews (3)

not an easy read and a little dense of history
Gary Cross' Men To Boys shows how men have changed in behavior and thinking over generations starting from the mid-1850's to present.

Even though the title is Men to Boys: The Making of Modern Immaturity, I am not sure if the book had a distinct answer as to why men are acting like boys.It is like pointing the answer to a body of history and saying that the answer is over there in that direction.

The book is quite dense of media history.I had a difficult time appreciating some of the references to 1940's movies because it was before my time.I had to ask people of older generations to get some ideas.

However, there was one observation I had from the book.It seems that men are becoming more directionless over the generations.In the early generations, men were self-driven to marry and have a family.Now, getting married is not really a necessity.

Another observation from reading this book I had was that gaining experiences are getting cheaper over the generations.In the early generations, men had to work hard because life was hard.Gaining experiences were not easy.Now, the current generations play games to get their thrills with little physical effort.Whatever camaraderie men had in the early generations to either establish social norms or to help each other in hard times are pretty much not observed in the current generation.

These observations were my own.I don't think the book made these observations.

This was not an easy read.It is quite dense of history and not really a page-turner.If someone is interested in this book, I would recommend watching the movie Gran Torino, read the book, and then watch Gran Torino again.I actually did that.When I watch Gran Torino again, then I finally appreciated this book and better understood the movie.

A narrow definition of adulthood
This book is one of many these days that bemoans the fact that todays young people aren't "growing up" the same way their elders did.Which is not necessarily bad, by the way.Actually, the perennial idea that the younger generation is worse than previous generations has occurred since the days of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle.

According to the author, beginning several decades ago, a trend has emerged.What used to be viewed as benchmarks of adulthood 50 years ago (marriage, parenting, careers) are now being delayed well into the twenties and even thirties.Many young men still live with their parents as well.More recently, adults (especially men) like to play video games, and the age of the average gamer is 35 and rising.This is evidence of "immaturity" according to the author, but this is nothing but a subjective value judgment.

Contrary to the author, it is entirely possible to be a mature, responsible adult without being married and having kids.Millions of people, men and women, choose this path and still remain productive members of society. Or, more often, they delay such benchmarks until their late twenties or thirties to concentrate on education, establish their careers, or even get the partying out of one's system (for men it used to be called "sowing one's wild oats"). Likewise, it is also possible to get married and/or have kids at a very early age before one is emotionally and financially ready to do so, and that does not prove maturity.Quite the opposite, in fact, as evidenced by the fact that those who marry early are more likely to get divorced.

As for young adults still living with their parents, this is a phenomenon that occurs in numerous countries including the United States.The shift to a two-tier service economy, spearheaded by outsourcing and automation of manufacturing jobs and exacerbated by out of control immigration, has led to a need for more and more education, and more time to establish a career.That is, unless you're content working at Burger King the rest of your life.It used to be that an average high school graduate could get a job right out of high school that paid a decent living wage, even a family wage.But those days are long gone, and even a college degree is no guarantee anymore.Yes, there are some genuine leeches, moochers, and losers that live in their parents' basement well into their thirties and beyond, and refuse to work or better themselves through education.But to conflate this minority with the rest of them is not very accurate.

And what's with the author's hatred of video games?How is that a mark of immaturity, when millions of highly productive adults (yes, even those who raise families) are able to play them at least occasionally with no ill effects?Just look at Shaq and his X-box.

Child-like qualities, even in adults, are not always a negative.Same goes for thrill and adventure-seeking.Without those, there would be no Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and numerous other geniuses the world has greatly benefitted from.

With today's long life expectancies, economic constraints and uncertainty, it is unfair to apply the standards of 50+ years ago to the youth of today.More objective criteria are needed to determine maturity than the ones he uses. While the Baby Boomers did (and still do) display objectively negative trends, today's young people are reversing them--they are LESS likely to commit crimes, drink, smoke, do hard drugs, die of overdoses, get in car crashes, get pregnant as teens, and so on.And knowing what today's precarious economy requires, they are enrolling in college in record numbers.So Millennials appear to be on the right track for the most part.

As for why today's 20-somethings like to party hard, it could have something to do with the fact that the drinking age was raised to 21.Perhaps they would party less if they were allowed to legally do so at 18 (like it was back in the day) and get it out of one's system.

I do, however, give him credit for skewering his own generation, the Baby Boomers, and even daring to criticize the Greatest Generation.Too many older adults refuse to look in the mirror when they criticize young people.So rare these days I'm afraid.That alone earns him a full two stars instead of one.

Think about it.Suppose he's right and today's young (and not-so-young) men really are as hopelessly stunted and immature as he claims, is it really such a bad thing that they are less likely to reproduce themselves?If they are really as selfish, hedonistic, and irresponsible as he claims, they should be the last people to have kids.And natural selection will thus weed these "overgrown boys" out of the species in a few generations, and be left with a more mature, more altruistic, less selfish society.

Oh and by the way, he blames feminism as well.A movement that brought unprecedented freedom to women would certainly be expected to have a spillover effect on men as the rigid gender roles of the past have become more fluid.But how is that objectively bad?If anything, the spillover effect was too small--men (and boys) are still held to unrealistic and archaic standards of masculinity, while women are increasingly allowed to take on more of men's traditional roles.The unfinished business of feminism needs to be completed, as it is only half-finished as yet.

Put not away childish things
This book is both more and less than I was expecting. "Less," in that I was hoping for a stronger critique -- not to say denunciation -- of today's "boy-men," as author Gary Cross calls them. The arrested-development adults-but-not-grown-ups like the suit-wearing, video game-playing guy in the cover art or, even more appropriate, the men in their forties, or older, who still run around in the same oversized T-shirts, baggy shorts, and huge sneakers as their 12-year-old sons. I was, as I say, hoping to see them called on the carpet somewhat more than they were. That probably says more about me than about Cross.

The area in which "Men to Boys" was more than I expected was in the author's thorough analysis of the archetypes of male adulthood over three generations -- the so-called Greatest Generation, the Baby Boomers (the author's own cohort), and my Generation X -- and how "being a man" has evolved since the 1920s and '30s. Cross relies heavily on media portrayals of boys and men, in popular movies and TV shows as well as commercials, but also introduces when appropriate the influence of video games and why they are so powerfully attractive even for adult men.

Indeed, the power of the video game becomes an important signifier, if not explanation, for the "men to boys" phenomenon. As Cross writes, "modern toys have gradually lost their 'expiration dates,' the markers that designate the time that children are expected to abandon them after reaching a new developmental stage. ... their manufacturers design them to blur, even deny this historically essential transition from boyhood to manhood." "As a result," he continues, "male players seem to equate personal progress with increased sensual and emotional intensity." In other words, whereas Saint Paul put away childish things when he became a man, modern maturity, so to speak, means the cultivation of ever more powerful (and expensive) emotional and adrenaline rushes. "To be blunt," Cross concludes, "adult men obsessed with video games are in a state of arrested development because they can't see the difference between a toy and an adult pleasure" (p. 223-4). That's the closest Cross comes to a criticism, I think, but even he has to admit that for today's boy-men, there IS no difference between a "toy" and an "adult pleasure."

I would have liked if Cross had extended his analysis more broadly, including expanding some of his points about evolving musical tastes (the impact of, as Tom Lehrer described it in the late 1950s, "rock-and-roll and other children's records"), clothing styles, and other cultural expressions. But I cannot criticize the depth of analysis or good insight he brought to the areas he did focus on. While Susan Faludi and her commentary showed up more toward the end of this book than I was expecting, Gary Cross has tackled what I think is an important cultural topic and brought some very good ideas and conclusions to the table. Any reader interested in the question of what it means to be a man in this decade and beyond will find a lot in here worth considering. ... Read more

Product Description

A comprehensive, fully illustrated exploration of every man mentioned in the Bible.

Customer Reviews (1)

Every man in the bible
I think the price on this book should be less than $9.00. Some of the print was bad and a lot of spaces in between words. If you can tolerate this, I feel the book should have been between 2.99 and 5.00. It's just o:k. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (6)

Growing Up and Coming Out
Gideonse, Ted and Robert Williams, editors.
"From Boys to Men", Da Capo Press, 2006.

Growing Up and Coming Out

Amos Lassen

Being gay and young is the focus of Ted Gideonse's and Robert Williams's"From Boys to Men",an anthology of 21 essays written by gay men. We all know what it is like to feel different and these selections deal with young gays who experience the world in ways unlike their straight friends. There is something there that is indefinable but unmistakably gay. The selections remind us of how alike we all are and yet how different. All of us want to be accepted and that is the key.
There is a variety of authors and a variety of stories but in essence that desire to be accepted is the same. Some of the essays are by established writers while others are by unknowns and it is the difference in the stories that make this anthology so interesting. I found myself remembering things I thought I had erased from memory. I remembered being the boy that I was before I became the man that I am and the sensitivity of the essays selected is powerful.
Sometimes we need to be reminded of how we grew as painful or as happy as it was because it is those experiences that we had that are reflected in the way we view and deal with the way we live now. Each selection is well written and deeply personal and honest.

Great book!
This is a terrific book.Each story is different, but there is unity in how the men experienced childhood from a distinctively gay perspective.

Buy it
The authors included in here will astound.Very well conceived and produced.Each story is just short enough to keep you reading until you've realized the book is over.Joe Jervis is extremly talented and just happens to be my friend for over 20yrs.I'm proud to know him.I hope he is grateful to his muse Terrence.

An astounding read...
Each and every story captivates you with it's little quirks that you may or may not be able to relate to. And even if you can't, you can almost feel it happen to yourself as you read through it.

An honest piece of work put together by many of today's great writers. Definitely a recommended read.

The Boy I Was, The Man I Became
Thomas, David, Sean, Marc, Dexter, Johnny, Alex, Brian. I can remember their names and recite them like a roll call of saints and demons; the boys who, largely unbeknownst to them, drew me out of myself and let me to myself all at once in those years between the kindergarten-era dawning of my nascent queerdom tothe high-noon of becoming a full fledged 'mo. Some teased, some taunted, and some were tender. But we never, ever touched.

I thought I'd nearly forgotten them, but they're still with me. This book, with its highly readable essays, brought them back to me. But more than that, with every essay it brought back to me parts of the the boy that I was, introduced him to the man became, and let us finally finally embrace each other. Back then he wanted to know that everything would be turn out alright, like the boys in this book. Now I can assure him that it did.

The the rare book that can take you back to a time that wasn't necessarily a happy one when you lived through it, and not only make you want to go there but also make you want to linger. This is one of those rare books. ... Read more

Product Description
Wounded Boys Heroic Men is a workbook for transformation. Specifically written for and about men. This is the first book to address their issues of physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. Dr. Daniel Sonkin carefully prepares a road map for the recovery process, including insightful stories of real survivors, as well as direction and reassurance.

More important, this unique book provides hope, relief, and comfort for millions of victims too proud to explore their suffering. Carefully analyzing the feelings, attitudes, and behaviors of abused men. Dr. Sonkin teaches methods that break the vicious cycle of violence, make peace with the abuser, and in return find peace within.

Comprehensive and enlightening, Wounded Boys Heroic Men is also a guide to help partners, friends, and family members better understand the struggles these men face, so that they can support the healing journey. Dr. Sonkin's message is simple: With help, healing is possible. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

Book: Wounded Boys Heroic Men
I bought this for my son, who was molested as a child, but he hates to read and told me outright that he would not read it!I wish he would have though, it looked like a really good book.It came to me quickly and in great condition!

Men healing themselves from within
I would recommend this book for men who still have the emotional scares, the resentments, child abuse issues from our childhood holding us back from achieving happiness and serenity.We can become heroes, over come addictions, free ourselves from the bonds of our pain once and for all.

Far from the best of its type
Of the growing number of books about male sexual abuse, this one rates just mediocre.The author seems to believe that abused men all grow up to be abusive, especially toward women.He ignores female abusers and the special issues of gay men.I'd recommend one of the better books in this area, especiallyGartner's Beyond Betrayal or Betrayed as Boys, but also Lew's Victims No Longer and Hunter's Abused Boys.Also, Moran's The Tricky Part is a great memoir

Clarification to comments by "Ken"
The section of the book that the reviewer is referring to is a quote from a member of my men's group, and not about myself.However, it is important that readers understand that for many different reasons, people are unable to face the realities of their abuse and as a result may inadvertently put loved ones at risk.This is unfortunately an all-to-common consequence of all forms of child maltreatment.It is not constructive to judge their actions in the past, but to help them change for the present and future.What was important for this particular man, was that he did ultimately face his problems and heal not only his own wounds, but his relationship with his son.He struggled for many years and his hard work ultimately paid off.Today, he has a wonderful relationship with his son and his new grandchildren.

Don't waste your time
Dan Jay Sonkin Ph.D should not be trying to guide adult males of childhood abuse.I purchased this book thinking "finally a book written for men that would be a perfect guide to self help".I made it to page 38 when I realized that this Ph.D should not be trying to write anything but his resignation in his trade.Dr. Sonkin betrayed his son by permitting a man who abused him as a child, to become close to his son.On page 38Dr. Sonkin own admission was that he never told his wife, or anyone else for that matter that he was abused sexually by his uncle.In Dr. Sonkin's stupidity he permitted a sexual predator (his Uncle) to become close to his son, and of course his son was also sexually abused by the same uncle. I am surprised that Dr. Sonkins wife didn't divorce him; and I am amazed that he can look his son in the eyes.Dr. Sonkin didn't have the courage to stand up to his Uncle like a grown adult male, he didn't have the courage to tell his wife what his uncle did to him as a child, and instead he was a coward that cost his son his innocence.Hang it up Doc, how dare you try to guide other men, when you can't even guide yourself. ... Read more

Product Description
A revealing portrait of black men in America explores their lives and experiences with unusual depth and clarity.

Over the last 100 years, perhaps no segment of the American population has been more analyzed than black males. The subject of myriad studies and dozens of government boards and commissions, black men have been variously depicted as the progenitors of pop culture and the menaces of society, their individuality often obscured by the narrow images that linger in the public mind. Ten years after the Million Man March, the largest gathering of black men in the nation's history, Washington Post staffers began meeting to discuss what had become of black men in the ensuing decade. How could their progress and failures be measured?

Their questions resulted in a Post series which generated enormous public interest and inspired a succession of dynamic public meetings. It included the findings of an ambitious nationwide poll and offered an eye-opening window into questions of race and black male identity--questions gaining increasing attention with the emergence of Senator Barack Obama as a serious presidential contender. At the end of the day, the project revealed that black men are deeply divided over how they view each other and their country.

Now collected in one volume with several new essays as well as an introduction by Pulitzer Prizewinning novelist Edward P. Jones, these poignant and provocative articles let us see and hear black men like they've never been seen and heard before. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Being a black man
Very interesting. Most of what I read I always knew but was unable to put in words.

INSIGHTFUL...
Written by the staff of the Washington Post, this book is a compilation of a series of articles, augmented by some new material, on the issue of being a black man in America. The book offers a contemporary view on the issue and reveals how divided black men actually are on how they view themselves in the context of race. The articles are insightful, candid and highly personal, as they evolved from interviews with many black men from all walks of life and provide a birds-eye view into how black men in America currently define themselves and their lives.I was entranced by their stories.

The writing is superlative, and the reader will find the introduction by Pulitzer Prize winning novelist, Edward P. Jones, quite poignant. The book also includes the results of a nationwide poll that empirically confirms what the articles declare anecdotally, that black men in contemporary America are divided on how they view themselves, each other, and their country. Those who are interested in social issues, as well as those simply interested in the human condition, will enjoy this well-written, insightful book. ... Read more

Product Description
- Provides encouragement and empowerment to help men live godly lives as Promise Keepers- Icons, notes, and articles illuminate the scriptural foundation of the Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper- Forty-five character sketches reveal powerful lessons about biblical integrity- Also available in the New International Version ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Excellent mens resource
The Pomise keeper's guide throughout the bible functions as an excellent tutor pointing out essential passages and how they can be applied specifically to a man's life.

Easy to read, with helpful insites to today's life.
This is easy to follow.It provides a chronology table with each book of the bible, and character profiles. Complete introduction of the Bible's 66 books with background and a biblical narrative. There is a column runningdown the center of each page which cross references linked words or phrasesin the text. This makes it particularly easy to reference like passages. Adictionary is provided for any unusual terms.

Over all this is a verypractical bible for today's english language. ... Read more

Product Description
Statement by the author: Not the most erudite of men could be perfectly prepared to deal with so many and such various sides of human life and manners. ... Read more

Product Description

THE DEFINITIVE RESOURCE FOR ALL ASPECTS OF GAY MEN'S SEXUAL, PHYSICAL, AND EMOTIONAL LIVES, this indispensable, landmark book will empower you to take charge of your health, your relationships, and your life.

For nearly two decades, Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC), the world's largest and most respected not-for-profit AIDS service organization, has provided vital support, education, and health information to gay men in the New York City area. Now, with Men Like Us, their guidance--and the insights of hundreds of gay men across America--can help you. Practical, down-to-earth, and accessible, this authoritative health resource covers such topics as

- Finding Doctor Right
- Your sex life vs. the rest of your life
- Sexually transmitted diseases: How to protect yourself, tell if you have them, and treat them
- 5 tests and vaccines no gay man should go without
- Guidelines for gay couples: Rekindling romance in long-term relationships
- Aging well: Strategies for mind and body
- An AIDS primer: Choices for the newly infected; antiviral drugs and how they work; deciding when to start antiviral therapy; determining if your therapy is working; and what to do if it's not
- Spirituality: Waking up inside; working for the gay good
- Mental matters: Meditation; stress reduction; finding a therapist; dealing with depression, anxiety, and psychotropic medications

Filled with expert advice--from leading doctors, lawyers, therapists, and fitness instructors to "ordinary gay men" whose stories provide important voices of experience--Men Like Us opens a window onto the ways we gay men, in all our diversity, care for ourselves and each other.

Amazon.com Review
Can't find your frenulum? Can't interpret your insurance? Can't name the major herbal remedy for prostate problems? Daniel Wolfe's amazing, enlightening, and physically weighty compendium on gay men's health can usher anyone through the major crises of life--grief, illness, bad hair--and offer sane advice on gay-specific issues, from coming out to harassment to spirituality within mainstream and alternative religions. Readers will expect a great deal of attention to HIV--and won't be disappointed--but may be surprised by the comprehensiveness of the section on recreational drugs, for example, or the attention devoted to the pharmacological treatments of depression. Passages on anal eroticism will help the reader chart new territory. Sections on exercise and nutrition are necessarily less complete. The text is supplemented with charts and sidebars (one of the best lists necessary legal documents for single or coupled men), as well as quotes from hundreds of gay men who were interviewed in person by Gay Men's Health Crisis or who responded to surveys ("My mind said I was walking home, but my body was walking to the sex club"). An essential resource for health care providers, therapists, and educators, Men Like Us also makes for lively casual reading, as in this word on allergies to latex condoms: "Although it sounds like a bad gay joke, don't eat bananas or nuts. They're among the foods, along with papaya and avocado, that can make a latex allergy worse." --Regina Marler ... Read more

Customer Reviews (11)

Most Comprehensive and Candid
Many books celebrate being gay, but few offer guidance into particular sexual activities, the physical and emotional health of actors, and some of the challenges many of us gay men encounter. While little or no moral judgments are proffered, healthful preferences are cited vis-a-vis the unhealthful. "Just because we 'can,' does not means we 'should.'"

Without insisting gay is a "lifestyle," it highlights those activities and circumstances often associated with being a gay man, and it discusses them honestly and candidly. No other published book offers such excellent information on such a broad array of issues in an intelligent and "whole earth catalogue" sort of way. I've had occasion to recommend it, and every recipient appreciates the referral.

Until it is surpassed, which seems unlikely, it's the best "handbook" to acceptance, adaptation, adjustment, approval, and analysis of most concerns we gay men face. Very highly recommended.

My Big Fat Gay Life!
Men Like Us is the complete guide to a gay man's life. The operative word is COMPLETE. This book had absolutely everything!
From anatomy (and yes, sexual pleasure), to exercise and diet, relationships and intimacy, medical care (which included lengthy passages on HIV), mental health and therapy, and on a deeper note, spirituality and community.
While the book does deal with some hard topics, it never loses it's fun feel. On nearly every page you will find funny, helpful diagrams or cartoons, depicting different aspects being discussed.
While, obviously, this book isn't for everyone (it'd probably give old Grandma a heart attack with it's vivid descriptions of anything from oral pleasuring to the "toys and tools" section) it is just right for that special man in your life. Uncle, brother, nephew, friend, etc.
This is a positive, clever, and helpful guide to gay living. No gay man's library would be complete without it.

A must read for the young,middle-aged,&older gay man !
I can truthfully say that most every question that I had regarding issues ranging from the widest range of topics imaginable were answered in a professional & very informative manner. Some of the topics ranged from "The Anatomy Of Pleasure", "Sex Acts And Facts","Sex Troubles",& much more in chapter one. Through 13 chapters of fact filled up to date info.this encyclopedic book keeps your attention in high gear, gets you thinking about what really matters, and is written in an entertaining manner as well. This all-inclusive "COMPLETE GUIDE TO GAY MEN'S SEXUAL, PHYSICAL, AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING" is a must read, and a great reference I refer to very often. If there is one book on gay men's info. this is the ONE!!!

A must have and a must read
Do not pass up this one. A comprehensive guide to modern gay life! Covers a range of topics that even surprised me. I guarantee you will learn something from this book as I did.

Useful, informative and even entertaining
It's hard to think of a group that has amassed more information about gay men and their health problems than New York's Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC).Now nearly twenty years old, the group has just published acomprehensive guide to gay male health, Men Like Us:The GMHC CompleteGuide to Gay Men's Sexual, Physical and Emotional Well-Being.The resultis a snappy, savvy, and indeed almost encyclopedic look at our sexual,physical and emotional health, with common-sense language and lots ofinformation.

Part One of this book is called"Sex Basics."This involves the penis, anal pleasures, mutualmasturbation, how to use condoms and so on.Our attention is flagged anytime a disease risk is involved.Barely a page goes by that the bookdoesn't use a sidebar, or a quote from an expert, or testimony from one oranother gay men who's been there and done that, which keeps things on alight tone.There's even a self-help guide for

deformalities andabnormalities of the penis and which ones need medical attention (there areactually a couple that don't).

"Body Basics" is PartTwo of the book.It introduces the basics of healthy exercise (both theaerobic and the body-builder type), tells how to deal with digestiveproblems, find a good doctor, investigate alternative health (if you sodesire), monitor things like cholesterol and blood pressure, and understandthe aging process.The presumed audience is a male in his late thirties orearly forties who is just starting to notice that things like cardiachealth and abundant vitality can no longer be taken for granted.

Part Three, "Major Medical," has two sections.The first dealswith the realities of AIDS in a very sophisiticated yet easy-to-followformat.This section really shines, and here it's worth remembering thatthe Gay Men's Health Crisis was the first group ever formed to deal withAIDS (before it even was called that).The second section is a veryknowledgeable "user's guide" to getting the most out of ahosptial stay.

Part Four has a section on therapy and mentalhealth, one on friendships, and one on spirituality.Of the three, thespirituality section is the weakest because it lumps spiritual andreligious topics together and treats them superficially.(Remember, too,this is not GMHC's forte here.) Men Like Us is a great book for anygay owner of a male body who wants to keep it in good shape.And it'swonderful when it comes to the ins and outs of AIDS.The books is probablybest suited for someone age 35 or older who lives a relatively"out" gay life and is comfortable finding bias-free resources:a gay or sympathetic doctor, say.Indeed, Men Like Us book seems to makethe assumption that its readers have been around the block a time or two,as when it reiterates that the rules for oral hygiene are "the samerules you've heard since you were a little homosexual-in-training." While this would still be a good book for a 22-year-old if only for thesafe-sex guidance, it might not be as useful as for someone older. ... Read more

Product Description
Engaging College Men is a ground-breaking collection of essays by mentors of college men and high school boys on what works to increase their engagement as citizens and participants in the common good. Sponsored by the Lilly Endowment, Engaging College Men presents a variety of programs at fourteen colleges and universities and select high schools and reports on their widely differing ways of guiding men to vocational discernment and a sense of purpose in life. As enrollments of men in college decline, this book is essential reading for college services administrators, teachers, and counselors who are committed to involving males in academic life and service to the community. ... Read more

Product Description

Among the many important tools feminist legal theorists have given scholars is that of anti-essentialism: all women are not created equal, and privilege varies greatly by circumstances,particularly that of race and class. Yet at the same time, feminist legal theory tends to view men through an essentialist lens, in which men are created equal. The study of masculinities, inspired by feminist theory to explore the construction of manhood and masculinity, questions the real circumstances of men, not in order to deny men's privilege but to explore in particular how privilege is constructed, and what price is paid for it.

In this groundbreaking work, feminist legal theorist Nancy E. Dowd exhorts readers to apply the anti-essentialist model—so dominant in feminist jurisprudence—to the study of masculinities. She demonstrates how men's treatment by the law and society in general varies by race, economic position, sexuality, and other factors. She applies these insights to both boys and men, examining how masculinities analysis exposes both privilege and subordination. She examines men's experienceof fatherhood and sexual abuse, and boys’ experience in the contexts of education and juvenile justice. Ultimately, Dowd calls for a more inclusive feminist theory, which, by acknowledging the study of masculinities, can broaden our understanding of privilege and subordination.

Customer Reviews (1)

Studying Men
Dowd, Nancy. "The Man Question: Male Subordination and Privilege", NYU Press, 2010.

Studying Men

Amos Lassen

Nancy Dowd gives us a look at masculinity both from the legal and other viewpoints and it is absolutely fascinating. She raises questions and then tells us how to look for the answers. Feminist theory looks at men through when Dowd calls an "essentialist lens" that shows all men as created equal. A new theory will look at men, manhood and masculinity by examining what is called the privileges of men and to see not only how the privilege is "constructed and what price is paid for it". This would give us an anti-essentialist model and shows that men are regarded by both law and society in terms of race, economics, sexuality as well as by other factors. Dowd looks at "men's experience of fatherhood and sexual abuse, and boys' experience in the contexts of education and juvenile justice. Ultimately, Dowd calls for a more inclusive feminist theory, which, by acknowledging the study of masculinities, can broaden our understanding of privilege and subordination".
If this sounds like heavy stuff, it is but it is also a very interesting read and perhaps will bring about changes as to how men are thought about. The topics considered are "Boys and Education,"Boys and Juvenile Justice", "Men and Fatherhood", "Men and Sexual Abuse" and the place of masculinity in feminist theory. There is a lot here in this slim volume and while academic it is easily readable.
... Read more