Product Description
In Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice, Dr. John Gray advises men and women of the best ways to harness the connection between stress, blood sugar, body fat, and behavior to create lifelong passion and better health. Dr. Gray reveals that the differences between the sexes, and how they relate to one another, are biochemically based and can be explained--and managed--by our hormones.

Dr. Gray provides small steps for super-stimulating the hormones necessary to nourish a vibrant life. He explores how communication, romance, ''a superfood diet, super exercise, and super sleep,'' can be incorporated into any lifestyle, and result in a whole new way of life. For example, Dr. Gray reveals:

• The unique ways in which men and women deal with stress
• How stress hormones can damage our health and complicate our relationships
• The importance of ''superfoods'' and good nutrition in replenishing hormones
• Why menopause--and 'man-o-pause' don't have to be relationship stressors
• How balancing blood sugar is intricately connected to balancing our hormones
• How achieving hormonal balance will not only improve relationships but provide strength and energy to cope with the challenges of modern life

Customer Reviews (8)

And we thought John Gray had already "said it all!"
Recently, I attended a presentation by John Gray, and an associate. I was please to discover that he had a new book out, "Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice." One of my daughters "won" a free copy of the book, so I borrowed it from her and read it. I was intrigued by the concepts, and feel it helped me to discover some new information that will help me and those close to me. I bought my own copy, and this one I ordered through Amazon, is for my sister. John Gray was revolutionary in his view of women and men......I think this book is once again, revolutionary in the area of hormone balance and the male/female differences. Definitely worth the investment!

Women, Have You Really Read This?
Yes, there is some good information in this book about how stress, poor food, and environmental toxins are depleting our hormones and aging us prematurely, but PLEASE!Gray states that women coming home from a long day at work don't need to sit down and rest, rather they produce more oxytocin by doing nurturing activities and things on their to-do list!!While the man on the other hand needs to rest in his cave!Not only that, Gray states that women's enhanced connection between the left and right brain means they can never forget their responsibilities, never escape this to-do list in the back of their minds.It sounds like a prescription for insanity!If both partners work full-time outside the home, both partners need equal time for rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation."Nurturing activities" may work for some women in this situation, but only a few with supernatural amounts of energy and a husband who carries a full portion of the home responsibilities.How many couples can accurately describe their relationship this way?

This Book is Even Better than I Expected.
I had the opportunity to listen to John speak and to pick up a copy of his new book.As I have read a lot of his other books, I expected this book to also be good, but it is even better than I expected!

This book explains the actual Hormonal differences between men and women, so now we can better understand why we are the way we are, why we do and say we do and what we actually need for hormonal balance in relationships.
Being in the health field myself, I am a Nutritionist, a Speaker and an Author; I found this book very helpful in understanding myself and others that I have relationships with.It is a book, a person can go back to time and time again and use as a reference on understanding yourself and those around you, then you can use the advice contained in this book, to better a relationship.

John Gray Expands Our Universe In A Totally New Way!
Dr. John Gray has a TV special airing on PBS and he is so funny and insightful that I donated to my local station so I could get this new book and DVD before it was in stores.While everyone knows hormones are important to health, you may not realize HOW important they are, how they affect our stress levels, body fat, mood, and relationships. Dr. Gray gives specific ways you can get healthy hormones through your relationships. That's right - relationships create hormones that keep us healthy or make us sick.This is the revolutionary link he makes in this book, backed up with abundant scientific research.If you've ever been in a "toxic" relationship, you know what he means.Understanding the difference between Mars & Venus is key to a healthy, happy life but we didn't come with an instruction manual.I'm not married, however the men in my life - business associates, family and friends - see the difference and it continues to surprise me when they react so positively to such little changes. This is a high quality book, filled with tips and clever color cartoons showing couples in situations we can all identify with.There is additional information on the DVD and Dr. Gray's presentation is absolutely priceless, soI'm glad I have both the book and DVD.Highly recommended!

A MUST READ FOR ANYONE IN A RELATIONSHIP
I am so happy I picked up this book, I had no idea that hormonal balance is key to a successful relationship. John Gray explains in easy terms simple things that women and men can do to balance their hormones, relieve stress and therefore make a huge impact on their relationship. I also was able to see John's PBS special also entitled Venus on Fire Mars on Ice which also helped a lot not only with my relationship with my husband but with my whole family. ... Read more

Product Description

Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress. It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch television. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in, and Mars and Venus collide.

Remembering and understanding our differences are only half the battle. The other half is about action--learning to cope more effectively with stress. This book aims to help you discover new ways to lower your own stress and help to lower your partner’s. Whether you are in a relationship, starting over, or single, you will discover a variety of new and practical ways to improve your communication, uplift your mood, increase your energy, elevate levels of attraction in your relationship, create harmony with your partner, and enjoy a lifetime of love and romance. You will learn why communication breaks down or why your relationships have failed in the past, and what you can do now to ensure success in the future. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (32)

Good Book About Understanding Causes For Stress Of the Opposite Gender
This is one of Dr. Gray's Mars And Venus series addressing relationship issues of men and women. This time he argues that the reason why relationships stop working after a while is that couples aren't able to cope with their stresses and gives solutions to these problems. Well it sounds nice and all, but after a while of reading this kind of books I came to the conclusion that our ancestors figured out the correct way of dealing with the opposite gender, which is to act naturally and not try to be someone else you are not!

In these types of books they always ask men to be understanding and validate women's feelings. They also ask women to appreciate what men do and understand their needs. This could be a good advice, but it's not necessarily going to work because it's asking us to act in an unnatural way! Our ancestors figured it out and apparently they weren't having the complex and never ending problems we are having today (when everone is trying to act unnaturally just to please the opposite gender).

Men in the old past used to go outside, hunt, join other men, and bring back food to the house and protect their family. Women used to give birth and protect their children and hang out with other women in order to fullfill their social needs and produce oxytocin by various womenly activities. Men were not asked to get involved in womenly activities (such as validating their feelings or go shopping with them), and women were not asked to appreciate men for what they do or participate in their activities. Everyone had his natural role, and everyone seemed to be happy. Men were hunters and women were family bearers!

In regards to this book, it will be a good read if you really believe that a book with these kind of advices could have a positive effect on your relationship.

Insightful
I've read many of John Gray's book.Most of them are very good.There was information in this book I had not read before - very insightful in understanding man and woman and how to work together in a marriage, or as a couple, to avoid conflict.I highly recommend it.

not great, not bad
This is not my favorite of the John Gray series.I can deal with his nasal voice, but the message was a little repetitive.I think all of his material is good, but I agree with another reviewer; he seemed to talk as if he were talking to a child.

Who Knew?
What a difference it makes in understanding how men and women handle stress. Reading this book was like having a light turned on. John Gray pin points accurately what a man goes through and how to deal with him. If only our mothers and grandmothers had this book. Who Knew? Everyone registering for a marriage license should be required to read all his books. Then maybe only half those contemplating marriage would go through with it.

half good, half...
As with most books from this author, only the half is good information. The rest is just him talking .... about what he thinks and stuff, total boredom. But the fist half of the book is very informative and has nice science facts, quite interesting. I helps to understand why after sex a man wants to sleep and a woman doesn't necessarily, its physical, it can't be avoided.

Anyways good book for adding, if you have some books of the series. If you don't try not to start in this one. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (14)

Almost perfect
Straw Dogs-thoughts on humans and other animals, is my favorite John Gray masterpiece...
Black Mass concentrates on the same subject with some dublications, which is already statedin details in Straw Dogs.
Anyway worth to read it and I strongly recommend it to everybody.

Can we be optimistic?
As we struggle to maintain hope and optimism in the face of today's natural disasters and human belligerence, John Gray dares to ask, "Should we?" Optimism, we are urged by both shrink and pharmacy, is good for our health. And, are not visions of a new and better world the needed driving forces to progress and achievement? In this historical and philosophical criticism of utopias Gray examines both of these cultural assumptions and finds them wanting.

Black Mass defines and describes as well as gives examples of the many forms of utopia, literary, religious and political. Some utopias live only in nostalgia, the golden age, or "the good old days" left behind. Some are meant to be in the here and now institutions we are shaping. Some await the hereafter. Some are eschatological expectations of raptures and ruptures in the near or distant future. In any case, "the end" is coming.

Gray examines what these utopian mental paradigms and the actions they promote tend to have in common, and why, in fact, they may be bad for our health and the health of the planet. Put in the simplest of terms (Gray is more eloquent), utopian faith divides the world in to good guys and bad guys and then inevitably sets in motion a "final solution" for the bad guys. Those who posture themselves as good guys legitimate terror on bad guys. Operative words in this context are: persecution, inquisition, witch hunt, assassination, crusade, holocaust, genocide, jihad, etc. These give operational context to other words like fire, noose, sword, guillotine, gulag, suicide bomber, concentration camp, gas chambers, agent orange, nuke, etc.

Black Mass is not a tirade about human inhumanity, though the evidence is there, but a collection of historical case studies about the inevitable failure of utopian thinking. The author attributes this recurring phenomenon to the religious eschatology of the West and, as well, its influence on other parts and peoples of the world. The opening line of the book says it well, "Modern politics is a chapter in the history of religion." Faith is faith, whether based on faith in God or faith in science--the dynamics are the same and when it comes to utopian visions, the results are the same whether we are talking about the Reign of Terror, Puritan witch hunts in "the city upon a hill," the holocaust of Third Reich, the Bolshevik repression or the apocalyptic USian pursuit of progress, democracy and the free market. The key element is that the "good guys" see history having a purpose and a goal, aligned of course with their faith and their interests.

It is to the present day that Gray's considerable historical, theological and philosophical treatment is leading. He roots his argument in a detailed analysis ideas of times recent--the 20th century and in particular the period between the two World Wars. This may not be an easy read for those not conversant with philosophic debate in this period. His chapter on "The Americanization of the Apocalypse," however, lands firmly on the doorstep of the neo-conservative movement in US politics, where "The idea that America is the best--perhaps the only legitimate--regime in history" becomes the mainstay and subtext of the neo-conservative mindset.

Once firmly in power, where science and intelligence appeared to reign, responsibility for evidence was rejected and disinformation and outright fiction became necessary to support the neoconservative articles of faith about what America needed to fulfill its destiny, launching the US on a campaign of worldwide terrorism and a policy of preemptive and endless war to achieve it via its "Armed Missionaries." Declaring war enabled those in power to claim war powers and in effect silently alter the nation's constitutional framework of the USA and subverting the liberties it was meant to guarantee.

Black Mass argues that "the war on terror" cannot be won. Exploration of the stages of the war in Iraq demonstrate its geopolitical counter productivity, even in terms of the short term wins sought through exploitation of resources for economic gain. It is responsible not for the elimination but for the proliferation of terrorism on a global scale with a chimerical faith in US destiny that brings "the end of history, the passing of the sovereign state, universal acceptance of democracy and the defeat of evil." Gray contends that religious eschatology has gone underground for many, but that secular redemption and salvation are similar fantasies. Atheists who believe in them are under the same delusion as believers as, in fact, they themselves are believers. Despots, Gray observes, tend to hide their crimes, while liberal democracies tout them as heroic.

Gray leaves us with a choice: utopia achieved by apocalyptic Armageddon, versus a resurgent realism that involves setting aside visions of world transformation and eschewing frenzies of faith for political advantage. Such realism involves setting aside teleological views of history while understanding that human nature is fixed and flawed and so called "rational choices" are often not rational at all. The new realism must accept that warfare has, beneath the surface, largely ceased to be state versus state and takes into account the raging environmental degradation. Choosing realism does not have to be cynicism if it leads toward a process (not a permanently realizable goal) of generating freedom and supporting diversity: freedom from narrative, freedom from history as a plot; diversity of culture, beliefs and practice. It requires the moral and careful efforts of government to provide frameworks in which these values can be safely lived out.

If we be allowed to parody the Nepalese, one can sum up the message of Black Mass thus: our moral objective and our ongoing measure of safety is our measure of "gross national self-knowledge." It is a book for the stout hearted who are willing to navigate our perilous seas of cultural and political conflict where there are few reliable maps.

More Eurocentric leftism
The problem with Gray's books is that of many Western intellectuals, the persistent slanting of any moral responsibility in history from Europe to America. (America is doing nothing that Europe hasn't done continuously for 3,000 years.) These slanted British histories are presented as a "world" perspective--the American "intellectual" thinks anything pro-European and anti-American is a world perspective. As an Asian-American who has traveled in Africa let me tell you--nobody distinguishes between Western countries. The fact that European and Euro-American leftists no longer use the term "the West" in order to shield Europeans from blame doesn't fly in the developing world.

Inconsistent and self-contradictory
"With the death of Utopia, apocalyptic religion has re-emerged, naked and unadorned, as a force in world politics."(p. 3)Among the few errors by Mr. Gray is his identification of only the Christian millennialists as apocalyptic.In orthodox Christianity all the exchatologies, premillennial, postmillennial, and amillennial, await the consummation of human history in the return of Christ.There are two differences.The first difference is how the series of events that take place around His return are structured.The second difference is whether the kingdom is established (either initially [amillennial] or completely [postmillennial]) before or after (premillennial) His return.

When it comes to current events this work should definitely be taken with a grain of salt. His perspective on current issues, esp. the character of U.S. involvement in Iraq, reads like a partisan talking points paper instead of an objective analysis of the greater situation. (p. 100-104)

For Mr. Gray there is no consistent end. His case is not a simple one. He makes very clear the failure of our liberal world to accomplish its utopian goals, the mutual failure of nation-states to fully encompass the needs of the whole society, and the lack of freedom within totalitarian systems. But his solution does not yield a fruitful result. His appeal is a Randian reach to reason and science, and that is his sense of realism. What remains is the physical world; there is nothing transcendental. His realism is without ontology or teleology, reflecting his abandonment of any apocalyptic ends. This is a position of ultimate naturalism that ends with a high level of frightening consistency. By excluding anything metaphysical he excludes ethical considerations from the political process. In this he reads more like coherent Nietzsche.

The matter of ethics brings out a serious contradiction in Mr. Gray's thoughts. One the one hand he sounds like the teleological Christians whom he criticizes when he promotes the best virtues of societies that help the needy and minorities. On the other hand, he sounds like just another despotic scientific atheist as he promotes a system driven by reason and science. The result is that Mr. Gray is not only unable to escape the enlightenment liberalism that he maintains has failed but he is also unable to escape the Christian character and ethic that clearly affects his position.

It is works such as this which present the greatest philosophic dangers to political and social systems. It is a system without an ethic but pretends to appeal to an ethic for the benefit of society. Such is the arbitrariness of proposed totalitarian solutions, and a fundamental motivation for the Christian, especially the evangelical, to pursue a place for the Christian ethic in civic life.

Without a view toward the future, without some sort of apocalypse or similar terminus, there is no possibility for progress. There is no political solution to the human condition.

***

In short, this is a *useful* book for its history but a *poor* work for its tendency to use history and theology for his own covenience.

Difficult to know where to begin...
First I want to get something off my chest: who, over at the publishing company, came up with the godawful cover for this edition of the book? It looks like something out of a 1940's sci-fi comic book, or taken from one of those Bobby Sands graffiti pictorials you might see on an old Belfast brick wall - totally lame.

And it's a shame, too, because there is nothing lame about Gray's dour, penetrating, sobering book. It is an unsparing critique of not only utopianism, but the very idea of progress (in human terms) itself.

Gray in effect argues that the Enlightenment project, in a profound sense, is a sort of fraud, in that it has largely occupied the "framework of thought" created by Christian theology, while claiming to have escaped that framework altogether by the relatively trivial act of substituting other ideals for a god figure. Characteristics of that framework include ideas of a linear march of human history towards some end or final culmination (apocalypse), the possibility of moral or ethical progress, and belief based not on any sort of evidence or precedent, but on nothing more than blind faith. Gray along the way devotes quite a bit of time to the Iraq War...but it's hard to do a book this dense any real justice in a review. Suffice to say, I find many of his arguments distressingly compelling (perhaps partly because of his terse, clear prose).

The only concern I have with this book, and with all other books like it, is that it attempts to establish what I might call genealogies of ideas - one (or more) ideas begat other ideas, and those ideas in turn begat these ideas, and these ideas begat those others, and "this is how X people got to Point Y, and how Point Y came to influence the world", with the whole description being suffused with the implication that *logic* was something of the main spur of generation (Idea A logically follows from Idea B)...as though a genealogy of ideas was conceivably as tidy and clear-cut as a biological reproductive chain.

But I always get the sense that such genealogies themselves are more the products of our own need to believe that there was some kind of *rational order*, or even just any intelligible process...

So, for example, was Hitler a child of the Enlightenment? Well, notes Gray, he was inspired by science - Darwinism in particular - and his racism and race policies were amply justified by leading scientific authorities of his day (all over the West). But could it not be as easily argued that he was a child of outrageous romanticism, of Nietzchean Dionysianism, where *to feel* and *to act* and to *impose will* is far more important than to think or contemplate or argue or justify?

Gray argues that Marxism too was but another Enlightenment fruit; but again...when the egalitarianism impulse is so deeply rooted in our psyches, so far beneath any reach of mere rationality, so at its root *religious*, how can we say that it was more the product of reason, than unreason? Maybe another way of putting this all is: Whether we begin with religion/revelation, or science/reason, don't we tend to end up at the same sorts of places anyway?

From what I can see, intellectual milieus tend to owe more to chance, and ultimately to non-rational responses to the world's vicissitudes, and to a need to belong to a group whatever its fashions intellectual or otherwise, and to a tangled, virtually infinite mess of ideas, superstitions, dogmas, and lusts, than to any identifiable series of pure intellectual streams propelled along by *logical extension*. But intellectual histories (including Gray's book) always seem to presume the opposite, and I just don't see how or why. (Once again, I'm starting to feel sort of lonely :P).

Anyway, despite that misgiving, I think Gray's book is challenging, really thought-provoking, and disturbing in the best sort of way.
... Read more

Product Description
Bonus Book/DVD Twin Pack includes both the NEW title and NEW DVD from John Gray.


(Hardcover Book) John Gray will introduce the world to his 17th installment of the Mars Venus series and most astounding book yet, VENUS ON FIRE, MARS ON ICE HORMONAL BALANCE THE KEY TO LIFE, LOVE AND ENERGY. Featuring groundbreaking research and simple, natural solutions for keeping our relationships and our bodies happy, healthy and strong.

(DVD) VENUS ON FIRE, MARS ON ICE in this hilarious life changing DVD John Gray shares groundbreaking research, abundant examples and simple solutions for keeping our relationships and our bodies happy, healthy and strong. John teaches the astounding effects super-oxytocin producers, super-foods, super-exercise and blood sugar can have on our ability to cope with stress and stimulate the healthy hormones that lead to lifelong love, joy and vitality for anyone of any age. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

good book
I have just received your book, I had already red this book from a friend and I liked a lot. ... Read more

Product Description

Create The Life You Want

How to Get What You Wantand Want What You Have is perfect for the ostensibly successfulbusinesspeople who can't explain why they're miserable, or people whoblame their partners for their miseries instead of looking inward. It'sfilled with anecdotes and tools to help you achieve a fuller sense ofidentity. Gray says that one of the most important steps to reachingthis level of self-awareness is meditation, and Gray gives dozens ofstepping-off points for meditation exercises to help you ascertainwhat exactly it is that you want, and how to remove anyobstacles--whether external or internal. Take it from a man who usedto be so ascetic that he was rendered homeless but now has achieved astrong sense of self and has managed to write nine bestsellingbooks: both spiritual and material success are within your grasp. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (97)

Had to get another one
Have had and enjoyed this book for many years. I know someone who could really benefit by studying it but I could not give up mine so I sent her a knew one.This I beleive is a spiracual study guide to be used over and over, not meant for any one beleif or relegion.
If you are suffering from depression or wanting to break bad addictions or how to pray or many many things.To me it is a book you never finish, as you can constantly become a better person.Sincerely Gramainthebed

very happy :)
How to get what you want....is a must read! I am extremelly glad I bought it and definetelly reccoment it to everybody.
Amazon shipped it earlier than expected. If I can give a vote it's a 10.
thank you from Spain.

This book is a "must have" for your permanent reference library!
Watch Video Here: http://www.amazon.com/review/R1GHTTVX7EP215 "How To Get What You Want" is essential in your home reference library.Add it to "7 habits" and Dale Carnegie.

Will Change the Way You Pray and Live!
I am a feminist and a John Gray fan in general but this is by far his best book and probably his real life mission.It answers for me why affirmations alone usually don't work and has given my a game plan for how to identify the kinds of love I need and their sources so I don't overburden any one source of love.I love it!

The best!
One of the best book on self-help I read, and one I will keep.
I recommend it to all my friends.
The exercises are easy to understand. And then, it's up to you... ... Read more

Product Description
The national bestseller that sold more than 450,000 copies and is the perfect companion to the author's nearly 3-million-copy, #1 New York Times bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (22)

Dr. Grey's Books are The Bomb!
I bought 3 of these books for a Friend of mine, who doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. He now lives in another state. I'm sending him these books after I have read all 3. The one I'm reading now is great!

Thanks, Cindy

Fabulous Book
This book is fantastic. It has fabulous down-to-earth tips for better understanding and dealing with your partner, as well as great stories that illustrate these ideas in easily digestible form.

Highly recommended... I think it has helped me a lot.

The content is different enough from "Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus" to make it a very worthwhile read, even to those who have the previous book. (though some might not agree, I think I gained a lot from reading both!)

AWESOME!
The book I ordered came fast, and was in the like new condition that was specified by the seller. Thank you for being honest!

Secrets for Lasting Passion
"By understanding and honoring that men thrive on appreciation and women on communication, we gain the knowledge and the power to create mutually fulfilling relationships. ~ pg. 37

In most of John Gray's books he focuses his attention on women with a dominant feminine energy and males with a dominant masculine energy. In this book he also dedicates a chapter to women with a dominant masculine side and men with a dominant feminine side. In both cases he encourages men and women to adapt to the Mars and Venus stereotype to solve most problems. Men are encouraged to enhance their warrior skills (listening) while women are encouraged to enhance their nurturing skills.

John Gray does a good job in explaining why old relationship skills are not working in modern marriages. He believes relationship issues are inevitable. This means there is a need to develop new communications skills. In the first half of the book he mostly discusses how men need to learn to listen to women more and how women need to let men have their "cave/alone" time on a regular basis. For more information on this subject along with scientific proof read: Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.

Since the stress of modern society (women having to take on all the responsibilities of home life along with working) is the real source of relationship problems, he explains how women can get what they need at home.

I liked the section on sexual polarity because it explains why some people don't fit into the typical stereotypes. There are also some interesting ideas on how to get a woman to talk if she is cold and evasive. It is also good to know that my husband is nurturing my feminine side by opening doors for me.

In this book in particular, John Gray shows us a little of his dark side or shadow self. He encourages men not to let this side dominate a conversation and explains more effective techniques for a more successful interaction. In fact he suggests that men should sleep on some issues before discussing them with their partner. So much for the "don't go to sleep angry" rule.To end the book, there is a section on "The Seven Secrets of Lasting Passion." In this chapter there is also a list of twenty things men can do to ignite passion in their partner.

After reading numerous John Gray books in the past few weeks I can say that this book in particular is more complex than the other books I had the pleasure to read. This may be the book that you will want to read twice because there is so much to absorb and learn.

~The Rebecca Review

Very insightful
In response to other reviewers, yes, this book does rely heavily on stereotypes of male and female behavior.If you find you don't fit the stereotypes (and of course not everyone does!), then you'll need to look for another book.But for many (most?) of us, the insights and advice in this book will be very helpful.As I read, I was constantly amazed by how much I could see myself and my husband in John Gray's descriptions.Last night I had my first opportunity to try out his techniques on how to prepare a man to listen...and it worked beautifully!A situation that would certainly have escalated into a hurtful argument was diffused into a calm, brief conversation that left both of us feeling warm and loving toward each other. ... Read more

Product Description
The author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus updates his guide to enriching relationships with members of the opposite sex. Gray explains how differences between women and men often lead to unnecessary clashes and offers new ways to understand, avoid, and resolve conflicts. Line drawings. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

John Gray's book VERY basic
As a psychotherapist, I am always looking for self-help books
to refer to my clients to help them understand more deeply
some of the issues we discuss. John Gray's book, like his others,
is very basic, very simple and good for people who have no idea
about how to approach or work with thsir feelings. If you're someone
who has been through good insight indepth therapy, this book is way
too simple, a beginner's book. He uses alot of cartoon-like pictures
and it almost feels condescending.
I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who has done any work on themselves
at all. If you have just started the work, perhaps, but there are others
that are better written to help one begin their journey.

A must read for everyone!
John Gray is known for his "Men are from Mars ..." series, which I think is fantastic.I believe this book is even better and is one of my favorite books to read.This book is very easy to read and gives you a lot to think about.My advice is to read through the book and when you get stuck, just continue on and you can always come back.

I learned a lot about myself by reading this wonderful book.I've found peace in my life and I believe that everyone must read this book.I hope you find it as valuable as I did.

not that great
The book was really childish and didnt help me at all. Its all big pictures and little useful information

i love this book! all must read it!!
This book teaches us the most basic yet crucial information regarding our feelings. It is so important to acknowledge, validate, embrace, and feel ALL our feelings, yet we are taught to repress certain feelings and make them bad.
This book gave me permission years ago to embrace all myself, to know myself more deeply, to love myself.
It teaches about the feeling dynamic in relationships as well...It can save relationships!!
EVERYONE MUST READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!! God bless John Gray!

Navigating Negative Emotions
"The major cause of human dissatisfaction and frustration is the absence of love." ~ pg. 2

"What You Feel You Can Heal" is an uncomplicated guide to emotions we all experience. John Gray encourages the reader to express their negative emotions in order to create an environment in which love can flourish and grow. The main premise is that repressed emotions block the flow of love.

Each page is illustrated with an amusing cartoon, which makes this book a quick read. In a matter of hours you can learn a few useful techniques that allow you to feel more positive about life.

John Gray encourages the idea of writing love letters although I still think the section of the letter with all the negative issues (I hate...) might be a bad idea. There is also a strange section on "duplication" where you repeat what someone says in order to become more empathetic. I found the following to be very true:

"The people who make you the most angry are the people you care about the most." ~ pg. 2

~The Rebecca Review
... Read more

Product Description
The author of the phenomenal # 1 New York Times bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray has helped millions of men and women achieve lasting love and happiness. Now he turns his wisdom and expertise to one of the most sensitive and essential issues in a relationship: sex. In Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, he explains how we can use advanced relationship skills to keep the fires of passion burning and achieve much greater intimacy.

Customer Reviews (71)

way off base

The first book form Dr Gray was great! Matter of fact, I'm looking for a audio of it.This bedroom stuffis way off base..Dr Gray forgets what the acts of love and respect women need.

Sex 101, but not graduate school
This book is better than Sex 1, which would just cover some basics of what's where and the physical differences between men and women. It adds to that by including some technique and a little psychology--what women and men like and how they differ behaviorally to sexual involvement. However, the book is far from a graduate level text. Specifically, it is very weak in the following ways:

1. As other reviewers have pointed out, it makes horrific stereotypes about men and women. Sometimes you'll read something and agree with it, sometimes you won't, simply because he makes sweeping statements about "Men like this..." or "Women like that..." The truth is that much of what he says applies to both sexes.

2. Viewed differently, he doesn't treat men and women as both having what are often considered as "masculine" or "feminine" traits. He describes a world of black and white men and women, instead of a real world of men who may have feelings and women who may be aggressive, etc. etc.

3. The book is written for an audience in their 20s and 30s, maybe their 40s. For people who are older, the book isn't much help at all. Men and women both change sexually as their bodies age, and he simply doesn't address this issue in any meaningful way. For couples over 50, understanding these issues and how to address them in a loving relationship is critical.

In short, this is a book for people who want to expand their knowledge of physical technique with a sexual partner and to become more psychologically aware of their partner's needs. But, most of the psychology should be taken as an invitation to experiment and talk with your partner to see what works for the two of you. Following this cookbook style book could be disastrous to a real relationship if you aren't very flexible with his guidance.

A Keeper!
This book provides information about how men and women differ in their likes and dislikes in lovemaking. It allows the reader to understand why men and women want different things and what each can do to help the other achieve a higher level of enjoyment. I should have read this one years ago!

A must read
Great book, a few basic points, but - hey, they are the main ones! Its not a manual on physical aspects of sexual stimulation - one can read Violet Blue about that; its mainly about psychology of the relationship. It helped me a lot to clear a few things about myself and about two of us.

Are People Really This Lost?
I've read Men's Health and for years been in a very sexually satisfying relationship.I checked this out of the local library curious to find some new information.While this book isn't terrible it is terribly basic.I didn't get the sense that men are portrayed as "conquerors" as other reviewers; it just seems that men are portrayed as clueless.

Personally I didn't find anything I didn't already know, just in this volume it's dressed up a little bit presumably so Dr. Gray can sneak the word "dick" in to show us he's "getting real." ... Read more

Product Description

There's nothing more devastating than the loneliness that comes with a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one.But even though it feels like the end of the world, you will survive -- and you will love again. John Gray's bestselling books about the Venus and Mars factor have helped millions of men and women develop better relationships. Now in Mars and Venus Starting Over, his gentle guidance, compassionate wisdom, and healing practices will help you feel whole again after a relationship ends.

With warmth and insight, John Gray shows that, while the process of healing is similar on Mars and Venus, there are distinct differences between the ways men and women heal their bruised hearts. Here he offers people of both sexes specific advice for how to deal with pain, find forgiveness, discover the strength to let go, rebuild confidence, and rise to the challenge of finding fulfillment again.

Mars and Venus Starting Over is a gift of love, a light in the darkness of your grief. Even if you're new to the Venus and Mars philosophy, you can trust John Gray to steer you through this difficult time and turn a painful ending into a joyous new beginning.

If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to beprepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff,but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He'snot one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who'stelling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue ofwhat makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothingquick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "LoveIs..." cartoon. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (45)

Great Book, poor audiobook and Audible Graphics are terrible
This is a great book from a great author.I have two problems with it.The heeling bedtime stuff needs to be it's own file and separate from the rest of the main content.Listening to that and not wanting to be distracted while driving to fast forward is just a mess.I listened to the whole 9+ hours of the unabridged Men are from Mars.... without problem.The going to sleep stuff in the middle of the file was a problem for me.The rest of the content is good.Whoever decided to put such terrible low resolution as to be almost unreadable graphics on the Audible version needs to be fired. The Men are from Mars.... unabridged audiobook graphics from iTunes put this garbage graphics to shame. Some of the content is recycled from Men are from Mars.... and this book only really deeply works as a companion to the master book.

Gives you the control back
Who doesnt want step by step instructions and a cheer leader along the way.This book gives you that.Makes you understand and go HHHMMMM so thats why he does that.

ok book
Not as good as Mars and Venus on a Date, and the original Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
This book is not bad, but not all that good. I recommend only for those who like the Mars and Venus series, otherwise as a standalone its not so good. I kinda liked it, but truth is, it hasn't really helped me, unlike the other two I mentioned.

Really helped me
I got this book to help myself recover from divorce, but I ended up getting in touch with many other life losses that needed healing too.It was very helpful for me.I especially liked the effectiveness of the Feeling Letters exercise.I started with a mess of emotions, and end up at a place of forgiveness and healing.This book validates your feelings and not only gives you permission to embrace them, but says you must experience them fully in order to let them go.Good information and valuable exercises.

Starting over requires more than a healed heart
John Gray, Ph.D. has an amazing understanding of hearts that have been broken by divorce or the death of a spouse. He has probably helped thousands of people through what can be a very long grieving process. Where this book falls short is advice on how to find a new love interest. Meeting your next sweetie can be very difficult, and this book gives very scant advice about where you would most likely meet that person. People who want a new spouse, significant other, lover, or friend for movies and vacations need more help than this book offers.Finding Your Sweetie After 50 ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (39)

Every human should read this book
If I had one word to describe this book: perspective.Every human should read this.

Inner Conflict
"This powerful and brilliant book is an essential guide to the new Millennium..." I must differ with J.G. Ballard, from a statement John Gray uses himself, in paraphrase, "We must learn what illusions we can live with, and which ones we can't." I cannot live with the illusion that this is a guide to the new Millennium. This book is a round, no different than "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". As soon as several steps forward have been made, the beginning of the chorus reappears again. One thing more, the book cannot purport there are no truths and truths at the same time, there must be a fallacy in there somewhere, and should not credit the writer and his observations. One cannot dismiss the precepts of animism and hold them in the same instant. With that, I conclude this book is more of a journal than a guide. I do not dismiss John Gray's thoughts within, but simply cannot digest its flawed format. It appears to be produced for vanity of wit that can most assuredly be matched and overcome. It would be better suited as reference material.

Abandon hope all ye who enter
John Graywants to convince us that we humans are not elevated above animals. Although I am willing to consider human beings as part of a web of life rather than king of creation, Gray's tone is too angry to read. He hurls statements at the reader without bothering to back them up. His goal seems to be to remove all hope of meaning or any positive change in order to convince us we no more than "rapacious predators" in the clutches of random natural selection.

Utterly brilliant, frightening...
You must read this book-- it's a dark descent.It's life-changing on the lines of THE SELFISH GENE .You'll never look at yourself, your motives and your choices the same way again.

Unrelenting Pessimism Has Never Been So Invigorating
The religious impulse, Gray argues in a later work (Heresies: Against Progress and Other Illusions), is as universal as the sex drive. Like the latter, when repressed, it re-emerges in the form of perversions.
Thus the Marxist faith in our passage into socialist utopia after revolution represents a perversion of the Christian belief in our passage into heaven after death - the former, heaven-on-earth, as unrealistic than the latter. Communism is thus, as an American Conservative commented, `the opiate of the intellectuals'. Similarly, humanism replaces an irrational faith in an omnipotent god, with an even more irrational faith in the omnipotence of mankind himself (p38).
Of course, humanism is a hopelessly broad term, encompassing pretty much anyone who is neither religious nor a nazi. What Gray has in mind by humanism is a faith in the inevitability of social and political progress, a faith shared by neo-conservatives, who think they can transform Islamic tribal societies and Soviet Republics to capitalist democracies, and Marxists, who think Islamic tribal societies and capitalist democracies will eventually give way to communism.
Notwithstanding an early discussion of the irrational origins of modern science (p20-23), Gray does not deny the reality of scientific progress. What he doubts is the inevitability of social, moral and political progress accompanying it.
Whereas scientific progress is self-perpetuating (a society that unilaterally gave up technology would be conquered by one with technologically superior weapons), political progress is not. Therefore, "even as it enables poverty to be diminished and sickness to be alleviated, science will be used to refine tyranny and perfect the art of war" (p123). In other words, "the uses of knowledge will always be as shifting and crooked as humans are themselves" (p28).
The problem with belief in societal progress is its failure to come to grips with the discoveries of scientific progress, namely the scientific understanding of human nature. The discoveries of sociobiologists demonstrate a degree of selfishness and nepotism innate among humans and incompatible with societal utopias (A Darwinian Left: Politics, Evolution, and Cooperation).
Sociobiologists emphasise the degree to which innate mechanisms respond to environmental variables to maximise fitness in diverse environments, including by producing altruism, suggesting that this can allow more egalitarian societies to be engineered. However, this analysis ignores the reality that the social engineers (politicians) are themselves possessed of the same human nature and therefore would not be motivated to do so, even assuming they are able. Even if human nature were itself to be reengineered, "it will be done haphazardly, as an upshot of struggles in the murky realm where big business, organized crime and the hidden parts of government vie for control" (p6), and reflect the interests of those doing the reengineering.

There are problems with Gray's thesis. First, it is unfair to equate neo-conservative utopianism with socialist utopianism. While it is unrealistic to expect western-style capitalist democracies throughout the world, some such societies are capable of flourishing (albeit not always living up to their professed ideals) and such an economic and political system is compatible with human nature. The same cannot be said of egalitarian socialism.
Second, while Gray doubts the inevitability of social, political and moral progress, he does not question sufficiently its reality. The Romans, transported to our times, would accept the superiority of our technology and, if they refused, we would out-compete them economically and militarily and thereby prove it ourselves. However, they would view our social and moral values as decadent. While scientific and technological progress exists objectively, what constitutes moral and social progress is a matter of opinion. To his credit, Gray does occasionally hint in this direction ("Ideas of justice are as timeless as fashions in hats" (p103) is one of his countless quotable aphorisms).

Given his tendency to pontificate about subjects outside his sphere of expertise, Gray also gets it wrong on more specific issues. Particularly curious given his pessimistic outlook is his enthusiasm for `Gaia theory'. Contrary to Lovelock's disciples, our planet is not a harmonious self-sustaining organism. On the contrary, organisms are in vigorous competition with one another (although their evolution to exploit the presence of other organisms in their environment may give the superficial appearance of cooperation).
Dawkins describes Gaia theory as "a cult" (Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder p223). It should therefore be viewed, within Gray's framework, as yet another perversion of humanity's religious impulse. (Given his enthusiasm for this cult, perhaps Gray himself is no more immune from the universal religious impulse than those he attacks.)

I generally dislike books written in a pretentious aphoristic style. They typically replace the argumentation necessary to substantiate their claims with bad poetry. This is not the case in Straw Dogs. Perhaps this is because his arguments, though controversial, are straightforward. One suspects the inability of other thinkers to reach the same conclusions reflects a failure of the will rather than the intellect - an unwillingness to face the reality of the human condition.

Beware that there is no sugar-coating to Gray's analysis. While, like Schopenhauer (one of the few philosophers he mentions without disparaging), he draws on Eastern philosophical traditions, he rejects Buddhism too, arguing that "death brings to everyone the peace Buddha promised only after lifetimes of striving" (p129).
Refreshingly, Gray does not portray himself as a saviour. He discusses the Buddhist notion that we require a saviour to save us from saviours, but renounces even this role. We do not take our saviours seriously enough to require saving from them. We look to our saviours, not for salvation, but "fordistraction" (p121) and it is towards distraction, not production, that our economic life is now geared (p162).
By his own thesis then, it is perhaps as a form of distraction that his work ought to be judged and, with its thoroughly invigorating pessimism, Straw Dogs distracted me immensely! ... Read more

Product Description
Includes the mega-bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, as well as What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know and Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

A Great Set of Books
This is what is needed by every male and female.Just when you where sure that we could not get a long this book set arrives.Dr. Gray gives very common sense approaches as to why we do what we do and then tells us how to fix it.A must read for everyone! ... Read more

Product Description
A useful and breakneck tour of the perils of modernity. (Toronto Globe and Mail) ... Read more

Customer Reviews (16)

Laissez-faire culturalism
John Gray is a controversial thinker who openly opposes the Enlightenment project and promotes a future that is based on continual competition of different values and cultures. Enlightenment, in his mind, is a residue of Christian world-view in its belief of end of the history (and thus war & struggle). In his analysis, both free-market democracies and 20th-century European totalitarian ideologies are projects that aim to realize new, universal condition for mankind - and a new global, modern identity. He sees this project as a waste of time as it is impossible one. Also a global free market is impossibility for him, as different traditions and values always shape the outcome of trade relationships. This 'laissez-faire culturalism' is extremely interesting as a mind game, as it deconstructs many of the ideas that Western thinking takes for granted - extreme left and extreme right non-withstanding. At the same time it is not a political pamphlet, at least in any conventional ideological sense. As such, the book is mind candy for those looking for a completely different view on current geopolitical issues. That does not mean, however, that one should believe everything this clever contrarian has come up with. I can share Gray's concern for the exploit of natural resources, but cannot really believe, for example, in things like the relativity of morals in torturing people for different reasons.

John Gray predicted the current financial implosion - in 2003
John Gray is staggeringly precient about the world economic system. Don't be misled by the Al Quaeda title, this is more about what it means to be modern. It is a pithy, and amazingly erudite, scan of the history of philosophic thought - in accessible language. Although rather too emphatic on some points, his knowledge is so prodigious he is entitled to the benefit of the doubt. What, one wants to know, is he saying right now about the banking implosion?

great company
the book is being used as a text for our daughters history class so i cannot comment on the book but Amazon is terrific .. i messed up this order and they were so good ,,,they fixed it and were so pleasant thanks

for stimulation and fresh thinking
Gray's provocative essay is most valuable as stimulus and for questioning several increasingly `orthodox' presumptions about modernity and, secondarily, Al Qaeda (and nation states as well). Diverse reactions well reflect how he has gotten `under the skin' of varied readers and thinkers. Like many good essays this becomes a personal discourse for each thoughtful reader and may not be expected to achieve endorsement in toto by any one of them.

Al Qaeda is `modern' in its instruments from the internet and bank transfers to bombs. It reflects rather less than detractors wish that is in any way traditionally Islamic. Bin Laden has no training for Fatwas; old theories are warped to provide rationalization for what few Muslims believe to be Islamic; the real enemies are within the Muslim world but propped up by the "Far Enemy" in the West. Jihad is defensive not world conquest, attacking the foreign because it is so influential locally in the Muslim world not because of hatred for George's "our way of life". It is not a "clash of civilizations" satisfying and simplistic in its denial of Western political and economic interventions and totally blaming a medieval "other". There is logic to asymmetric warfare - perhaps more than response with an air force and occupation of Iraq.

Modernity is not a destination or even a journey but only a direction claiming logic and rationality belied by the realities of globalism, capitalism, and science.

Toleration is not uniquely western or modern but has ancient and Muslim roots as well. A most educated and democratic state of Germany elected Hitler. Labels obfuscate and provide excuses but not understanding. (See how some try to score points by calling Islamists "Islamo-fascist" at the very same time as describing medieval dark age mentality and rage.) Turkey is more secularist than the United States. Repressed religion encourages secular cults. Ironies and paradoxes can teach - or at least make us think freshly.

Market pricing, positivism, and the Enlightenment are but a few items grist for Gray's mill. He is both frustrating and provocative - but rarely dull.

A quotation from Wittgenstein reflects the premise that science and modernity do not have all the answers, "When all possible scientific questions have been answered, the problems of life remain untouched." (page 110)

Modern horrors
Is the title of this book misleading?Clearly the emphasis of the book is on 'what it means to be modern' and 'Al Qaeda' is only used sparingly (but in my opinion very tellingly) to illustrate the main thesis.Thats not to say the title wont shift more copies with Al Qaeda in there, but if you're an intelligent and open-minded reader then you should come away from this book having been presented with a novel perspective on the modern world and having learnt something new, or at least a new argument, about the underlying nature and rational of a truly modern and global terrorist movement.Gray spends a lot of time arguing that Islamism is a product of a way of thinking that did not exist pre-enlightenment, and it seems most reviewers are focusing on this part of the argument.But to me, the more interesting (and convincing) arguments here concern al qaeda's existance as a product not only of modern thinking but of globalisation ie their ability to exploit failed states, global communications such as the internet, and of the international movement of people, money and arms. Thus the meaning of al qaeda is placed within the framework of the world view presented in 'straw dogs' - rather than technology and globablisation marching the world forwards into an era of democracy and peace, they will simply continue history along its usual course of conflict and suffering, only yet more bloodily ... Read more

Product Description
In 1921, at the age of eleven, Isaiah Berlin arrived in England from Riga, Lativa. By the time he was thirty he was at the heart of British intellectual life. He has remained its commanding presence ever since, and few would dispute that he was one of Britain's greatest thinkers. His reputation extends worldwide--as a great conversationalist, intellectual historian, and man of letters. He has been called the century's most inspired reader.

Yet Berlin's contributions to thought--in particular to moral and political philosophy, and to liberal theory--are little understood, and surprisingly neglected by the academic world. In this book, they are shown to be animated by a single, powerful, subversive idea: value-pluralism which affirms the reality of a deep conflict between ultimate human values that reason cannot resolve. Though bracingly clear-headed, humane and realist, Berlin's value-pluralism runs against the dominant Western traditions, secular and religious, which avow an ultimate harmony of values. It supports a highly distinctive restatement of liberalism in Berlin's work--an agnostic liberalism, which is founded not on rational choice but on the radical choices we make when faced with intractable dilemmas. It is this new statement of liberalism, the central subject of John Gray's lively and lucid book, which gives the liberal intellectual tradition a new lease on life, a new source of life, and which comprises Berlin's central and enduring legacy.Amazon.com Review
For more than half a century, the renowned liberal thinker Sir Isaiah Berlin hasoccupied an important spot at the center of British intellectual and publiclife. Recipient of knighthood and the Order of Merit, he has been the head ofan Oxford College and the director of the Royal Opera House. During World WarII, he acted as Winston Churchill's eyes and ears in America. He is alsoa talented and prolific writer with five volumes of essays to his name.Surprisingly, John Gray's book is only the third full-length examination ofone of this century's seminal thinkers. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Excellent
For some reason, the other reviews, with one exception, are not reviews of John Gray's, "Isaiah Berlin;" they are instead reviews of a compilation of Berlin's writing, "Four Essays on Liberty." I don't know how this happened, but I will review Gray's book, ISBN 0691026351.

Gray presents a compact (168 pages) intellectual biography of Berlin, an affectionate, fair, yet critical survey of his thought and works.It is an excellent resource, and it provides the reader with the background and context necessary for understanding Berlin's rather voluminous and disparate writings.This is especially valuable, as Berlin was a loquacious and sometimes untidy writer, circling around, over, and back through his ideas in way that some may find confusing more than clarifying.In fact, his key ideas were not that many, and not that difficult to grasp, when set out as carefully as Gray sets them out.

If you want more narrative of Berlin's very interesting life, you should consider Michael Ignatieff's, "Isaiah Berlin: A Life," which is also superbly done.Gray concentrates on Berlin's ideas, summarizing the whole of his life in one paragraph in the Introduction.

Lays out Berlin's thoughts pretty well!
This book came out in the mid 1990s right when the biggest debates were dealing with cultural diversity and affirmative action. No book not even this one can capture the essence and writings of Berlin's writing that expanded nearly six decades yet it provides a fresh analysis of his ideas to those who aren't familiar with the 'history of ideas' and unleashed in the public debate about what to do about the remnants of liberalism and multiculturalism in this day and age. I recommend buying this highly. ... Read more

Product Description
Like its widely praised predecessor False Dawn, Two Faces of Liberalism, hailed by the Los Angeles Times as "elegant and powerful," offers a thoughtful and provocative analysis of the liberal tradition in politics. John Gray, an eminent professor at the London School of Economics, "picks large and interesting topics and says arresting things about them," according to the New York Review of Books. Two Faces of Liberalism argues that, in its beginning, liberalism contained two contradictory philosophies of tolerance. In one, it put forward the enlightenment vision of a universal civilization. In the other, it framed terms for peaceful coexistence between warring communities and between different ways of life. In this major contribution to political theory, Gray's new book "takes us beyond the current debate"(The New York Times Book Review) of traditional liberalism to keep up with the complex political realities of today's increasingly divided world. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Fundamental critique of liberal fundamentalism
Gray has done everyone a great service by skewering the rights based liberal philosophy of thinkers like John Rawls.Though it seems that Gray (like most Anglo-Saxons) is unaware of the Continental critique (think Habermas), he still does a good job of making some readers aware of the Enlightenment project that seems to grip too many people.Luc Ferry does a better job of this in my mind because he nods to the critiques and tries to move towards a solution.Unfortunately it may be that Americans find his Frenchness offensive.In that case Gray's work here has opened the possibility of moving beyond the dialectic of enlightment (sorry Frankfurt School)and towards one of "modus vivendi".It also doesn't share the faults that his earlier book, "False Dawn" had, an overweening attempt to criticize without ever coming to some sort of solution. ... Read more

Product Description
The best-selling relationship book of all time- over seven million copies sold world wide to date- in a freshly designed new format. Learn how to create understanding and communication between the sexes from this classic and authoritative guide.First published in 1993, this book has become an international publishing phenomenon and is one of the most famous non-fiction publications of all time.A lively and accessible guide to successful communication between the sexes that has already helped many millions of readers from across the globe understand why members of the opposite sex behave the way they do, this new edition contains all the text of the original, including: / what makes members of the opposite sex tick / how to understand their verbal and non-verbal language / how to motivate the opposite sex and get what you want / how to avoid arguments and promote fruitful communication / how to score points with the opposite sex and impress your partner / the real emotional needs of the opposite sex and the behaviours associated with these needs / how to keep love alive and stay together long termThis authoritative guide will help you reach a point of harmony and understanding where both sexes can live, work and love together. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

Did not receive it
I did not get the book I ordered. I will not order from Amazon.com again. This is the second time this has happened.

A Must Have for all Relationship Counselors!
John Gray teaches you in a wonderful way how men are different from women in the way they think and communicate.I always recommend this book to those, especially men, so that they can stop being confused and hurt in relationships.Did you know that men need to feel needed whereas women need to feel loved?Did you know that men are turned off from women not trusting them?Also, did you know that women's mood fluctuate like waves whereas men retreat in their "caves?"Well, you will learn much more once you read this book!I am no longer ignorant to understanding the difference in how men and women think and communicate... thanks John!

men are from mars, women are from venus
I recommend this to anyone in a committed relationship. My husband and I each had a copy, read the chapters at the same time then discussed them; it was part of what kept our marriage together. If there's a required reading for a committed relationship this is it.

Not bad at all
Got this book a day late so I began to worry that it hadn't got here but once it did i was ok. It's in good condition.

Some Insightful Thoughts, but some Stereotyping!
A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women.The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.

John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds.For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences.Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need.The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.

John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings.Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.

Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave).Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.

Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. Theshortcomings of this book need addressing.First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.

Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women.In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.

Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity.For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women.This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book withoutexploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking.What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?

This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venushas some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.

Overall, an interesting read...but caution is advised!

The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking
... Read more

Product Description
Jasper Johns (b. 1930), one of today's most acclaimed and influential artists, is rarely considered in relation to monochromatic art. Yet single-colour experimentations have figured prominently in his productions since 1955, and within that significant subset of his work, the majority of monochromes are grey. In fact, every one of his iconic, serialized forms has been articulated in grey. This elegant book, spanning Johns' full career, examines this singular preoccupation, presenting a revolutionary new understanding of and appreciation for the artist as an accomplished tonalist. Johns' greys traverse an infinitely expressive spectrum of differentiated hues and values evident in the new photography expressly commissioned for this catalogue. The volume features paintings, sculptures, drawings, lithographs, silkscreens, etchings, and aquatints created in a wide array of grey media: oil and acrylic paint, encaustic, collage, Sculp-metal, aluminum, lead, silver, graphite, pastel, watercolour, and ink. This book also features recent works published here for the first time.Anchoring this essential publication are compelling essays that enrich our perspective on this prolific artist's entire oeuvre. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Frans Hals had black; Jasper Johns has gray.
I hesitated before ordering this book. I already own 5 books about Jasper Johns and was thinking to myself that owning one more would not add much to my appreciation of this great artist. I was wrong. This book, the catalogue for an exhibition held at the Chicago Art Institute in 2007, is full of marvelous illustrations (of some recent works like theCatenary series) and brilliant essays on the importance of this most difficult of colors, gray, in the work of Johns. The quality of the illustrations is such that they enable the reader to see all the nuances of the artist's palette as if we were standing in front of the paintings (or drawings, or prints, as a matter of fact). In this respect, all the photographs were taken by the same photographer using one type of material only so as to show the works in the same light and shade. Johns's gray is like Hals's black: he has hundreds of different grays and the book reveals this perfectly.

Highly recommended.

A muct have for contemporary artists
I have found this book most helpful. The articles written by the various contributors is worth the price alone. The illustrations are satisfactory as most of these works are about texture.This book will be a friend for a long time. ... Read more

Product Description

Men and women are different -- there's no denying it. So why do we constantly expect the same actions and feelings from them? This enormously helpful book not only enables you to recognize the differences between you and your loved one but also leads you toward an acceptance of those differences, thereby paving the way for a stronger relationship.

With his characteristic wit and wisdom, relationship expert John Gray explains the different ways men and women communicate, cope with stress, resolve conflicts, and experience and give love. Once you understand these differences, you'll be better equipped to handle inevitable bumps in the road, and be on your way to a long-lasting and truly loving relationship.

Customer Reviews (28)

Must read for male to female relationships
This book provides a true map of how to navigate the sexes. A great book for male to female discussions, and it gives excellent insight into the behaviors that people exhibit. An easy, intelligent, great book. Read It!

Fantastic resource for couples.
Fantastic resource for couples.Suggestions for improving your relationship are sensible and will make a huge difference.

MUST READ
This book is a must read for any man or woman in a relationship! It's helped me so much in understanding men better, and seeing why men and women don't see eye to eye very well. I was surprised at the next day delivery from the seller at my house! But it was great to get it so fast!

Good Advice for Stressful Times
"There will always be obstacles to overcome in sustaining a loving relationship. Too often men assume that once they are married, the work of having a relationship is over. Realistically, that is when it begins." ~pg. 124

"Men, Women and Relationships" is the perfect book for troubled times. It is difficult enough to keep a relationship healthy when you are in love and life is going the way you want it to go. After a few years and an added dose of life's inevitable stress men and women start to show different sides of themselves. Men start to withdraw and women become dissatisfied and overwhelmed. This book shows how to deal with these issues especially when stress is the cause.

"Women correct men because they think it will motivate or help them to change. The truth is, it just makes them more stubborn and unyielding." ~ pg. 159

John Gray also discusses how men and women process information and how they can argue less and agree more. Men are instructed to listen more and women are instructed to be alittle less nurturing so men don't feel smothered. There is a good section on why women feel unloved that includes a list of suggestions to counter the symptoms of a bad relationship.

If you are serious about your relationship then this book is essential reading. I've read most of John Gray's books and this one had some new and useful information that helped me understand my own marriage on a deeper level.

Also look for:

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love

~The Rebecca Review

Men, Women and Relationships
Great, concise relationship tool that everyone could benefit by listening with someone they care to improve their relationship[s] and/or share their life with. ... Read more

Product Description

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow.

Customer Reviews (138)

Must read but with major ommisions
Yes he comes across as having a huge ego and the rolling of eyes is appropriate and you need to take the advice with a pinch of salt. Having said that it's a must read for both sexes. The one thing the author barely touches on is the major omission in this book. There are lots of very common, real problems that individuals bring to the table in a relationship. This book does not solve them and they can sabotage successful communication. Gray would do his readers a huge service if he put his ego aside for a minute and stopped pretending that the advice in this book will solve all problems it won't. He should offer some pointers on the major common problems outside the scope of this book and where to look for answers. Two emotionally healthy people who want to communicate better will find this book a must read. The unabridged audio book is very good.

a must buy for anyone in a relationship
This book help me to better understand my husband and the reasons we sometimes clash. I enjoyed reading and I learned so much.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
After 23 years of marriage, you would think I would totally understand my man. Yet, no, there were still traits that totally drove me up the wall. I kept hearing, well that's just what men do. So, I decided to find out why men do what they do and they just don't seem to get what or why women do or feel things like we do.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus was an easy to read, down-to-earth, eye-opening book that seemed to just say it like it is. There was no finger pointing, just the facts on how we (men and women) can better understand and support each other.

I am already using many of the things I learned in my marriage, and my husband is reading it too.

I will make this book a must buy as a wedding gift with a nice note suggesting that it should be read by both partners!

A question
Reading this book, a question pops into my mind: According to Dr. Gray,the important point in a relationship is that women should give men some space in a relationship, by occupying themselves with bubblebaths.

Now here is my question: IF the stereotypes about men and women in the book are true, and IF the solution is that men and women should behave accordingly, why are there already problems in relationship? There are many cavemen, and many needs women and those cavemen try to get their girlfriends/wives to back off, and I am sure some of those needy women are trying to be happy by themselves, out of desperation that their men won't treat them right. IF this is Dr Gray's expert solution, why hasn't this worked already? This seems like a recipe for disaster, rather than any relationship solution....

Got some good advice here.
This is, obviously, a classic realtionship guide that has been out for several years. I've just now come across it and have to say, I liked it. I thought the advice was spot on and real. Some might think it was old-fashioned, but I liked it and learned quite a lot. ... Read more

Product Description