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Editorial Review Product Description
Forget the perfect game. Forget the World Series rings. Forget the legendary carousing, the barroom brawling, the heavy-metal head-banging, and the endless supply of uncensored, often havoc-wreaking quotes. Forget the feuds with dumb-assed fans, wrong-headed managers and the entire city of Cleveland. Even if Perfect, I'm Not was to blindly (and insanely) ignore all those amazing aspects of David Wells' life as a major leaguer, his story would still bounce off these pages as a wildly entertaining and jaw-droppingly honest look at the game of baseball. Nothing less would be possible. Wells simply isn't wired for spin-doctoring. He has no "delete" button. He pulls no punches.In a sport that's now largely populated by a bland collection of well-dressed, personality-free, cliché -- spouting Stepford jocks, Wells clearly holds the title of "baseball's most beloved bad-ass". From rookie ball amid the beer-soaked, frozen tundra of the Great White North, through Winter Ball amid the easy women and explosive diarrhea of Venezuela, Perfect I'm Not explores Boomer's long, strange, often insane climb through the minors. And from the Siberia of the Blue Jays' bullpen, through intensive training with a brilliant little Yoda known as Sparky Anderson, the book also examines how Boomer grew from a mediocre reliever, into a solid, reliable, hugely successful starter. From there, after tortured dealings with Marge Schott in Cincinatti, and Pat Gillick in Baltimore, the book follows Boomer deep inside the New York Yankees' dugout, right through the teams' fairy-tale seasons of '97 and '98. It stands with David on the mound through his legendary perfect game. It documents his high-profile love affair with the night-life of New York City, and then explores just how devastating it felt to be unceremoniously dumped for Roger Clemens. Perfect I'm Not also follows Boomer through his chronic back pain of 2001, then surgery, rehab, uncertainty, and one pinstriped Christmas miracle, courtesy of Boss Steinbrenner. And though the 2002 season may have enjoyed a less than perfect climax, it nonetheless rounds out the book with a Yankees reunion that kept Boomer smiling from February, right into October. Perfect I'm Not gives readers an unprecedented, all-access pass to every major league stadium in the country, providing a first-person perspective of life on the diamond, as well as an uncensored, warts-and-all, insider's guide to life inside locker-rooms, hotel rooms, planes, dugouts, buses, bedrooms, restaurants, titty-bars, and more. It's great fun. It's real. It's as close as you're ever gonna get to making the show. Amazon.com Review
Perfect I'm Not is, indeed, not a perfect book, but as in baseball, literary imperfection can make for a thrilling ride. Part Horatio Alger, part libertine, Wells peppers the narrative of his rise from poverty in Ocean Beach, California to baseball fame and fortune with numerous prurient tales from behind the locker room door. He is frank about the use of steroids among his fellow players and he's not afraid to burn major bridges (one must assume they were already on fire) in his ferocious attacks on such baseball luminaries as veteran general manager Pat Gillick. And the story behind his woozy perfect game is legend. All this is entertaining stuff and worth the price of admission. The book, however, falls too often into a pattern of explication and justification for Wells’s "entertaining" run-ins with the law, baseball management, players, and even his own family. We learn that young Dave Wells once punched his sister and broke her jaw, but, he explains, this was because his sister had scraped his sunburned back with her fingernails. This childhood story is then repeated--in a grown up form--several times. In many cases, it does seem that he is justified in claiming innocence--or at least in claiming he got an eye for an eye. But repetition of these explications--which even include bad pitching performances caused, we learn, by nascent physical problems (elbow, shoulder, bone chips, gout, back)--take away his agency in his own story. The hero is always a victim. In the end, then, the book is as flawed as its author, offering entertaining insight--some perhaps unintentional--into the man and his game. --Patrick O’Kelley ... Read moreCustomer Reviews (45) 
Funny, Witty, and Insightful
A VERY funny, witty, and insightful book by one of the game's true characters. Some of the stories in this book will stick with you for life. His relationship with Davey Johnson was tumultuous to say the least. The head butting story almost made me spit up I was laughing so hard. His account of the night before he threw his perfect game is one for the ages.
A Flawed Individual But Colorfully Engaging
David Wells is crude, grew up in harsh conditions, and led a life that has been anything but exemplary; big deal; nobody's perfect.Wells makes that disclaimer before the reader even opens the book.We know what kind of tale we're about to read.This isn't a boy scout or the student body president.He's a brawling, overweight, and outrageously funny ball player; and that's not such a bad thing.It certainly made for an entertaining story.
There's nothing heroic about David Wells; at best, he was a pretty good major league pitcher who was good for a laugh.At worst, he was a violent guy who once punched his sister out, breaking her jaw.Folks, no matter how you spin that story, there's nothing cool about that type of thing.He seems to shrug it off, lightly, and I found that more than a little bit disturbing.
So yes, Wells was a flawed individual with a history of inappropriate behavior; there's nothing lovable about him, despite the twinkle he always seemed to have in his eye during his playing career.
However, for sheer entertainment value, Wells comes up as big as his fat belly after slamming a six pack of beer with a pepperoni pizza on the side.He was good for a few laughs, and didn't worry about the opinions of fans, teammates, writers, or law enforcement officers.He did whatever he felt like doing, and said whatever popped up in his fat head.He was colorful, to say the least.
His story was not particularly enlightening, but it was entertaining; at times, downright hilarious.His blunt talk about the proliferation of steroids may cause some baseball officials a bit of discomfort; however, there's no reason to think he's fabricating any of that talk.In fact, the whole discussion about MLB's abuse of PEDs has become rather pedestrian.Tell us something we didn't already know.
Fortunately, Wells sticks to comedy most of the time, and that's where the value comes, from a reader's perspective.He has an engaging wit and even though you know he's not such a wonderful person, he's still a funny guy.Anybody who could toss a perfect game with a huge hangover, commands a certain degree of respect; you just wonder how he would've fared with a clear head.Probably not so good; that's the sort of zaniness that gave him so much notoriety.His book is appropriately insane; yet somehow, it seems normal for this lunatic.
Just read the book and enjoy it; don't try to judge his character.Just laugh along with this colorful character; he provides us withpretty good entertainment value; and that's not such a bad deal.
Great Baseball Memoir
"Perfect I'm Not" is a wonderful story about a poor kid who fulfills his dream of pitching for the Yankees. The tale is gritty, and details Wells's many successes and failures, as well as his physical battles with his ever-painful back. In addition, it is very funny, sometimes even hilarious. The humorous parts make the reader really like Wells, who informs us about the many baseball players he knew.
The co-author, Chris Kreski, is a fine writer. There is only one minuscule fault with the writing; i.e., the repetition of a few phrases. "With that in mind" appears so often that it becomes annoying. It actually appears three times on one page. This phrase comes in a few variations: "With all that in mind," "With those things in mind," and "With all those things in mind." "With that injustice in mind," and similar wording, makes the reader wish for some competent copy editing.
The proofreading is generally solid, but there are lapses. We read, "...not the least bit phased" on p. 180, and "Uttering the prase 'weigh-in'" on p. 186.
But these are petty criticisms indeed. So, with that in mind, I heartily recommend this book to baseball fans (which I'm not) and anyone who enjoys the story of a pretty good guy.
Very funny, surprising &honest!
I honestly was laughing out loud at certain parts of the book!
I think David Wells was very honest on what was written. It really made me see for the first time ever, why he used to get so upset so easy, the fights, the drinking & ect; You get to read how he grew up & what it took him to become the great picher he was. He really went through alot of bad times. The fans were sometimes awful with him. His mother passed away & to they knew how to get him off his game. That was terrible with some fans yelling horrible things about his mom when she had passed. There is just so much to the book you put in this about what i liked. One thing for sure in my eyes, if you didn't like David Wells before, not because of his pitching, but his behavior, READ this book & i think most people will have a change of heart. I know i did. We read things in the paper, but we dont get to hear the rest of the story. So for anyone who doesn't like him, read it & then judge him. It had me laughing alot! He is a very guy also. We just didn't see that. but i HIGHLY recommend it!
Totally Awesome
This is probably one of the all time top 10 baseball Bio's in my book. David does a remarkable job of giving you a complete look into his life and incredible career. I would really like to party with this dude he seems pretty cool. He is one of the smartest ballplayers out there today.Finally someone who can appreciate the Babe without putting him down. I promise you a good time if you check this book out.
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